Eulogy Ideas for Non-Religious Funerals

Here in the United Kingdom, the way we say goodbye is changing. For centuries, funerals were closely tied to religious traditions, most commonly within the framework of the Church of England or other Christian denominations. In such, the format of a funeral was fairly predictable; a religious service in a church or crematorium chapel, filled with hymns, prayers and the comforting but prescribed words of the clergy. However, as the nation’s relationship with faith evolves, so too do our final farewells.

According to recent surveys from organisations like the Office for National Statistics and the National Centre for Social Research, in particular their British Social Attitudes Survey, fewer than half of people in the UK now identify as Christian.

In fact, recent data shows that "no religion" was the second most common response in the UK, with 37.2% of people (around 22.2 million Brits) identifying as such, myself included. Across other surveys, a growing number of people identify as non-religious, secular, or simply “not particularly spiritual”. This seismic shift in belief has opened up a new, creative and deeply personal way to honour those who have died.

I don't think this shift means people have stopped caring about rituals, remembrance, or meaningful goodbyes. Quite the opposite in fact. As traditional religious structures loosen, people are finding new and deeply personal ways to honour those they have lost.

At the heart of this modern memorial is the eulogy. I've certainly noticed this trend over the last couple of years with more clients asking me not to include any religious symbolism or motifs in the eulogy they commission me to write for them.

At the same time, the eulogy has become more prominent. No longer is it just a tribute squeezed between prayers, it has grown to become the centrepiece of the ceremony; a chance to capture the messy, beautiful and unique reality of a life lived.

If you've been tasked with writing a eulogy for a non-religious funeral, whether it's a humanist, atheist, or civil ceremony, the freedom can feel as daunting as it is liberating.

Where do you start when there is no set script? My experience can tell you that the answer is simple; you start with the person so with that.in mind, here are my eulogy ideas for non-religious funerals.

The Rise of the "Celebration of Life"

This gradual shift away from religious rites is not just about an absence of belief; it is a positive movement towards something else: a focus on the tangible, the remembered and the loved.

In my experience, one of the greatest strengths of a non-religious eulogy is its freedom. Without the expectation of scripture or prayer, the speaker can focus entirely on the individual being remembered.

According to recent research from Co-op Funeralcare, almost 70% of us want our funeral to be a celebration of life, rather than just a time for reflection.

Humanist celebrant Tim Maguire once noted that his early experience of funerals was that "you arrived sad and left miserable." No arguing with that. The humanist attitude, however, offered a different path: "Joyful not miserable, uplifting rather than depressing... Humanists didn’t mourn death, they celebrated life" .

I think this philosophy is the bedrock of the non-religious eulogy. It operates on the belief that we have one life, and its value is measured not by divine judgement, but by the impact we had on others and the world around us .

With that mindset, suddenly the eulogy isn't a solemn recitation of dates and achievements; it is a story. It is the last great story we tell about someone, and it should sound like them, no matter who's writing it.

Photo by Jon Tyson on Unsplash

What Makes a Non-Religious Eulogy Different?

In a religious funeral, the eulogy often sits alongside messages of an afterlife or reunion in heaven. In a non-religious ceremony, the focus is entirely on the legacy left behind.

A non-religious funeral still celebrates the life of the deceased, but it does so without following any religious traditions, beliefs or rituals.

There is no mention of a divine plan, and no attempt to comfort the bereaved with promises of paradise. Instead, the comfort comes from shared memories, laughter and the acknowledgement that while the person is gone, the love and influence they imparted remains very real.

Above all, I think the goal is to remember the vibrant, loving, remarkable person they were.

7 Eulogy Ideas for Crafting the Perfect Non-Religious Funeral

For me, writing a eulogy for a non-religious service is an act of curation. I'm trying to gather the artefacts of a life; the stories, the quirks, the passions and weaving them into a narrative.

If that's a position in which you find yourself, here are some ideas to help you build that narrative.

1. Start with the "What" and "How", Not Just the "When"

A common pitfall I see non-professional writer's make is turning a eulogy into a CV. While it is important to acknowledge key life events (birth, education, career, family, etc), the non-religious eulogy thrives on the detail behind them.

Don't just simply say "He was an engineer", instead say, "He was an engineer who could never pass a pothole without muttering about how he'd fix it, and who once drew up blueprints for a garden shed that were more detailed than most house plans".

I'd also suggest reflecting on time spent together, looking at photographs, and pulling out specific examples that reflect the person’s personality . The goal is to paint a picture, not just fill in a form.

2. Use "Words That Describe" as a Framework

If you are struggling with writers' block (as we all do at some point), start by brainstorming a list of words that describe your loved one.

• Were they fierce?

• Were they silly?

• Were they generous or inquisitive?

Once you have that list, you can use each word as a springboard for a story or a thought. For example:

• If you came up with "Stubborn" this one word could lead to something like this --> "If you knew my mother, you knew she was stubborn. This meant that convincing her to get a mobile phone took the best part of a decade. But it also meant that when the doctors said she'd never walk without a stick again, she proved them wrong within six months. That stubbornness wasn't difficulty; it was determination."

This technique helps form a speech about the kind of person they were.

3. Don't Shy Away from the Full Picture

Everyone's life is made up of triumphs and disasters. A non-religious eulogy has the space to acknowledge both.

If your loved one faced struggles, it is OK to acknowledge them, as long as it is done with sensitivity and context. Overcoming adversity is a powerful part of a human story. It makes the tribute honest and relatable, bringing everyone together in a shared understanding of the person's journey.

4. Incorporate Their Passions (Pop Culture and All)

Just because it isn't a church service doesn't mean you can't have readings. It just means you can choose readings that actually meant something to the deceased. It could be from:

• Music - Lyrics from their favourite band can be incredibly powerful. If they were a die-hard Queen fan, a line from "The Show Must Go On" might be the perfect way to end a eulogy. At a recent funeral in Cardiff, traditional hymns were scrapped in favour of Diana Ross, perfectly capturing the spirit of the person who had died and there's more on that funeral later on.

• Film and Books - Did they live their life by a quote from The Lord of the Rings or The Princess Bride? If so, use it! J.R.R. Tolkien's "Roads Go Ever On" is a popular non-religious reading that frames life as a journey . A quote from a favourite film can bring an instant smile of recognition to the congregation .

• Poetry - There is a wealth of non-religious poetry that deals with love, loss and memory. W.H. Auden's poem "Funeral Blues" (sometimes known as "Stop all the clocks") was famously used in the movie Four Weddings and a Funeral and remains a favourite. For a more uplifting tone, Summer Sandercox's "Not, How Did He Die, But How Did He Live?" perfectly encapsulates this ethos .

5. Embrace Humour and Lightheartedness

Just because it is a funeral doesn't mean laughter is forbidden. In fact, in a celebration of life, it is encouraged.

A eulogy at a non-religious service is the perfect place to share a lighthearted story. It might be about their disastrous attempts at cooking, their terrible dancing, or their uncanny ability to talk to anyone at a bus stop.

I remember reading about the funeral of a guy called Lee Palmer in Wales, the same funeral that played Diana Ross songs I mentioned earlier, where a minute's silence was replaced with a minute of shouting and applauding. Laughter filled the room as friends and strangers remembered their happy memories.

These moments of joy are not disrespectful to the dead; they are a tribute to the life they lived. As one of Lee's friends who read the eulogy said "He was a constant source of joy and laughter. Let's remember the vibrant, loving, remarkable person he was".

6. Include the Community

Non-religious funerals often focus on the human family; the network of people who surrounded the deceased. The eulogy can be a solo act, but it doesn't have to be.

In another beautiful example from Lee's funeral, after the eulogy was read, a microphone was passed around the room, giving everyone the opportunity to express their favourite memory of Lee.

If a "open mic" feels too risky, you can weave other people's memories into your speech. Contact friends and colleagues beforehand and ask for their one-sentence memory of the deceased. Including these voices shows the collective love and reminds everyone that they are not alone in their grief.

7. Acknowledge the "Empty Chair" Honestly

In my experience, the end of a non-religious eulogy can be one of the hardest parts to write. Without the crutch of "they are in a better place", how do you offer comfort? I do it by validating the grief while affirming the life. I think Catherine Turner's poem "Beyond The Empty Chair" does this beautifully:

Look beyond the empty chair. To know a life well spent. Look beyond the solitude, to days of true content. Cherish in your broken heart, each moment gladly shared. And feel the touch of memory, beyond the empty chair.

You can end your eulogy by stating the simple truth: that they will be missed, that the world is different without them, but that we are all better for having known them. You can encourage people to hold onto their memories, because in a non-religious context, that is where the person lives on.

Practical Tips for the Big Day

• Speak to the Celebrant - If you are using a professional celebrant (whether from Humanists UK or another organisation), lean on them. They are there to support you and can help you structure your thoughts and judge the length and tone of the piece.

• Practice Reading Aloud - A piece written on paper can look very different when spoken. Practice aloud beforehand to ensure the sentences flow and that you are comfortable with the emotional peaks.

• Have a Backup Plan - Grief is unpredictable. If you are worried about breaking down, have a printed copy of the eulogy and ask the celebrant or a friend to be ready to take over if you cannot finish.

The PostScript: A Final Act of Love

Writing a eulogy for a non-religious funeral is a profound responsibility. It is an act of love that requires us to look closely at someone's life and distill its essence. Without the rituals of religion to fall back on, we must rely on the rituals of memory; the stories, the laughter, the songs and the tears.

It is a format that brings people together not under the banner of a shared faith, but under the banner of a shared love for one person. In doing so, it honours the core belief of humanism and atheism alike; that this life, here and now, is infinitely precious and its echoes will continue to be felt in the hearts of those who were lucky enough to be along for the ride.

As one celebrant once noted, a good funeral should "cherish the individual who died and weave together the survivors in bonds of love" . Personally, I think is something everyone, religious or not, can agree on, right?

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Thanks for taking the time to read my post, I hope you enjoyed it. These are obviously just my thoughts but I'd love to know what you think. Would you prefer a non-religous send-off? What would you hope people say about you after you pass? Alternatively, do you think all funerals should have some religious motifs as part of the ceremony? Let me know in the comments below.

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