Reflections on Mortality: Does Thinking About Death Makes Life Richer?
- Gary Michaels
- Mar 31
- 7 min read
Death is the one certainty in all our lives. No matter our background, beliefs or ambitions, we will all, at some point, die. Despite that given, our culture all too often shies away from discussing death at all.
I completely understand that it can be uncomfortable, even frightening, but what if confronting mortality, rather than ignoring it, could actually enrich our lives?
What if we avoid thinking about it, treating it as something distant, something to be feared, but instead of ignoring death, we embraced it? What if reflecting on our mortality could help us live more fully?
Our Own Reflections on Mortality
From ancient philosophers to modern psychologists, many have argued that reflecting on death can lead to a deeper appreciation of life.
By acknowledging our finite time on this Earth, can we start to prioritise what truly matters, cultivate gratitude and live with greater purpose?
In this blog I wanted to examine this and why contemplating death isn’t morbid at all and it can actually be transformative for each and every one of us.
The Paradox of Death Awareness
I fully appreciate that, on the surface, it seems counterintuitive to dwell on death if we want to lead a fulfilling life. If that's what we all want, shouldn't we focus on joy, experiences and achievements instead?
The idea that reflecting on death enhances life is not new, in fact some of the world's most profound philosophies and traditions suggest otherwise.
The Stoics of ancient Greece practiced 'memento mori' which translates to "remember you must die" as a means of cultivating perspective and wisdom.
Even Roman Emperor Marcus Aurelius wrote in his personal writings (aka Meditations):
"You could leave life right now. Let that determine what you do and say and think."
Buddhists meditate on impermanence (known as 'Maraṇasati'') to foster gratitude and mindfulness. Even medieval Christians kept skulls on their desks as reminders of life’s brevity.
These traditions over centuries recognised a profound truth; awareness of death sharpens our priorities.
When we remember that time is limited, we’re less likely to waste it on petty grievances, meaningless distractions, or societal pressures that don’t align with our true values.
Apple co-founder Steve Jobs, in his famous Stanford commencement speech, said:
"Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important tool I've ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life."
Jobs explained that the fear of embarrassment or failure paled in comparison to the inevitability of death, freeing him to take risks and follow his passions. It worked out pretty well for him.
Anecdotes and quotes aside, even modern psychology supports the idea that our awareness of mortality can inspire greater appreciation for life. I guess that's why reflecting on death isn’t really about cultivating fear; it’s about sharpening our focus.
When we truly understand that our time is finite, we become more deliberate in how we use it. We prioritise relationships, meaningful work and experiences that align with our values, rather than getting lost in distractions or trivial concerns.
I think the paradox of the title is this; by accepting that we will die, we learn how to truly live. So instead of fearing the end, let's look at how it can guide us toward a richer, more meaningful existence...one day at a time.
The Psychological Benefits of Mortality Awareness
As I've just touched upon, despite all of its historical implications, modern psychology supports this ancient wisdom.
Terror Management Theory (TMT), developed in the 1980s, suggests that humans manage the anxiety of death by creating meaning; either through relationships, achievements or cultural beliefs, rather than suppressing thoughts of death.
Studies show that conscious reflection on mortality can lead to a number of things including:
Greater Appreciation for Life - When we recognise that everything is temporary, ordinary moments become precious.
Stronger Relationships - Knowing time is limited encourages us to mend conflicts and express love more openly.
Reduced Trivial Worries - Petty frustrations fade when weighed against life’s bigger picture.
Increased Motivation - Procrastination loses its grip when we realise our days are numbered.
In one study carried out by the University of California Berkelely, participants who wrote about their own deaths later reported higher levels of gratitude and life satisfaction compared to those who didn’t.
This suggests that mortality awareness doesn’t have to be depressing, it can actually be liberating!
The Clarity That Comes with Mortality
If that doesn't convince you, consider the moments when people receive a life-changing medical diagnosis or have a near-death experience.
Often, they report feeling an intense clarity about what really matters. They let go of grudges, express love more freely and pursue passions they had long set aside. Is that just coincidence?
While we shouldn’t need a brush with death to gain this perspective on life, contemplating our mortality can bring about the same transformation.
Thinking about death forces us to ask crucial questions.
If you had only a year left, how would you spend it?
Who would you want to be with?
What unfinished business would you regret?
Are you spending your time on things that truly matter?
If you died tomorrow, would you be at peace with how you lived?
What legacy do you want to leave behind?
These questions strip away the superficial and societal expectations and highlight what is truly meaningful. By asking them now, rather than at the end, we give ourselves the chance to live with greater purpose.
We don’t (or shouldn't) need a crisis to gain this clarity but by regularly reflecting on mortality, we can live with intention now, rather than waiting for a wake-up call that may never come.
Cultivating Gratitude and Presence
One of the greatest gifts of mortality awareness is the deep sense of gratitude it can cultivate.
After all, doesn't knowing that our days are limited makes each one more precious?
A simple cup of coffee on a quiet morning, the laughter of a child or the beauty of a sunset takes on a new significance when we realise we won’t experience them forever.
In this fast-paced world, it’s easy to rush through life without fully experiencing it. We spend time worrying about the future or dwelling on the past, often missing the richness of the present.
However, when we hold mortality in mind, we become more attuned to the here and now. We savour the small moments, knowing they are fleeting. We tell people we love them, not just assume they know. Fundamentally, we stop postponing joy.
Overcoming Fear and Embracing Acceptance
As I talked about at the beginning, a fear of death is natural, but it often stems from the unknown. The more we confront and explore our mortality, the less power fear holds over us.
In cultures that openly discuss death, such as Mexico’s Día de los Muertos (Day of the Dead) celebrations or the Tibetan Book of the Dead, people tend to approach life with a different mindset, one that acknowledges and even embraces death as a natural part of existence.
Acceptance of mortality also allows us to cultivate a sense of peace. Instead of resisting the inevitable, we can prepare for it.
This might mean having conversations with loved ones about our wishes, writing letters to be read after we’re gone, creating a living eulogy or even planning our own memorials in a way that reflects the life we’ve lived.
Personally I don't believe these acts are not morbid, rather I think they are deeply human, acknowledging that death is a chapter in our story, not a failure or an interruption.
Living with Legacy in Mind
Another way reflecting on mortality enriches life is by encouraging us to think about our legacy:
What impact do we want to leave behind?
How do we want to be remembered?
I don't believe that legacy is just about grand achievements; rather it’s about the small, everyday ways we influence others. A kind word here, a lesson shared with childern, a moment of generosity there; these can ripple through generations. Knowing that we won’t be here forever pushes us to act now.
We make an effort to mend broken relationships, contribute to causes that matter and create something meaningful. We shift from passive existence to active participation, ensuring that when our time does come, we have lived in a way that reflects who we truly are.
Finding Freedom in Mortality
Ironically, contemplating death can be one of the most freeing things we do. It liberates us from the illusion that we have endless time, which often leads to procrastination or hesitation.
It also frees us from the expectations of others. When we realise that our time is short, we are less likely to live according to societal pressures and more inclined to follow our own path.
By embracing the impermanence of life, we stop waiting for "the right time" to pursue dreams or take risks. We understand that perfection is an illusion and that the only certainty is the present moment.
This realisation can be incredibly empowering, pushing us to say yes to opportunities, take chances and express ourselves fully.
The PostScript
I hope I've shown in this blog that death is not life’s enemy, it’s what gives life its urgency and beauty.
By embracing rather than avoiding this truth, we can:
Live more authentically (free from others’ expectations).
Love more deeply (without taking people for granted).
Act more courageously (because regret is scarier than failure).
Life’s most beautiful moments are often intertwined with an awareness of their impermanence. The reason we cherish a fleeting summer (especially here in the UK), a child’s growing years or an elderly parent’s embrace is precisely because we know they won’t last forever.
Instead of mourning this, we can all see it as a reminder to love fiercely, to be present and to hold onto what matters. As the poet Mary Oliver wrote:
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?"
In the end, death is not the enemy of life, it is its companion. It gives life its urgency, its depth and its meaning.
By reflecting on mortality, I believe we are not surrendering to darkness but stepping into a brighter, more intentional way of living.
So let’s talk about death. Let’s think about it, not with dread, but with the understanding that by doing so, we can create lives that are richer, fuller and truly worth living.
The clock is always ticking. How will you make it count?
If you want to take control of your own death, then it might be time to create a living eulogy and I can help you with that. Let's work together and give your loved ones one less thing to worry about after your passing.
If you enjoyed this post, then I'd love to know what you think. What is your attitude to death? Do you avoid it or embrace life because of it? Let me know in the comments below. I read and reply to all of them. Thank you.
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