PostScript Eulogies

"I don't know where to begin". As a professional eulogy writer, I probably hear that statement more than any other from potential clients. Families contact me every week feeling overwhelmed because they have been asked to write or deliver a eulogy for someone they loved deeply, yet they simply cannot find the words. I understand that feeling completely. They worry that they are not good writers, that they will forget something important, or that they will somehow fail the person they are...

I'm sure that, at funerals across the UK and around the world, a familiar pattern often unfolds. Someone steps to the lectern, takes a deep breath, unfolds a carefully prepared sheet of paper, and begins to speak about a life well lived. The stories are warm. The memories are affectionate. The flaws, if mentioned at all, are usually reframed as charming quirks rather than serious shortcomings. "He could be a bit stubborn". "She always said exactly what she thought". "He wasn't much of a...

I’ll never forget the call from a lady in Cheltenham earlier this year. Her mother, a former librarian named Joan, had passed away peacefully at ninety-two. “The problem is”, the daughter whispered, as if sharing a state secret, “Mum would loathe a traditional funeral. She hated being the centre of attention. She’d go bright red if you even sang ‘Happy Birthday’ to her”. This is a dilemma I encounter more often than you might think. As a professional eulogy writer, I spend my working life...