Eulogy Writing for Suicide: How to Address the Unthinkable with Sensitivity

As I write this, September 10th, as it is every year, is Suicide Prevention Day. A day for us all to raise awareness that suicide can be prevented. The fact is one is one too many.

It probably won't come as a shock to you but, in my role as a professional eulogy writer, writing about the death is what I do, day in and day out.

Death is just a part of life. Whilst it might not be nice to think about, we're all going to die at some point, but when that loss is due to our loved ones taking their own lives, that somehow hits different.

I'm sure you'll agree that losing a loved one, whether it's a family member or close friend, is one of the most painful experiences we can endure. When that loss is the result of suicide, the grief is often compounded by confusion, guilt, anger and a profound sense of helplessness for those left behind.

Trust me when I say that writing a eulogy for someone who has taken their own life is an incredibly delicate task.

It certainly requires balancing honesty with compassion, acknowledging the tragedy without defining the person by their final act and offering comfort to those left behind while navigating your own emotions.

This blog aims to guide you through the process of writing a eulogy for someone who died by suicide (if that's a position you find yourself), offering 7 real-world examples of practical advice with some illustrative writing and emotional support to help you honour their life with sensitivity and care.

Eulogy Writing for Suicide: Understanding the Complexity

Before diving into the eulogy itself, it’s important to acknowledge the unique challenges that come with suicide.

I'm not ashamed to say I've attempted to take my own life on two seperate occasions in the past, so I can see this from both sides.

Even in 2025, suicide is often surrounded by stigma, misunderstanding and silence. Those left behind may grapple with unanswered questions, feelings of blame or societal judgment.

As you write your eulogy, remember that your words have the power to either reinforce or dismantle these stigmas.

Approach the task with empathy, both for the person who has died and for those who are grieving.

I believe that a eulogy for someone who died by suicide should strive to:

1. Honour their life, not just their death.

2. Acknowledge the pain they were in without judgment.

3. Offer comfort and hope to those who are grieving.

4. Foster understanding and compassion for mental health struggles.

1. Reflect on Their Life

Whilst it's thankfully not something I get commissioned to write often, when I do, I begin by focusing on the person’s life rather than their death.

Suicide is often the result of profound emotional pain, but it does not define who the person was.

Instead I think about their personality, passions, achievements and the memories you shared. I consider the following questions:

• What made them unique?

• What were their hobbies, interests or talents?

• How did they impact the lives of others?

• What are your favourite memories of them?

By centring the eulogy on their life, you remind everyone present of the person they knew and loved, rather than the circumstances of their death.

2. Acknowledge the Suicide with Compassion

While it’s important to focus on their life, you cannot ignore the reality of their death.

Addressing the suicide directly can help break the silence and stigma surrounding it, but it must be done with care.

Avoid graphic details or speculation about their motives. Instead, acknowledge their pain and struggles in a way that fosters understanding and compassion.

For example, you might say:

“We will never fully understand the depth of [Their Name]’s pain or the struggles they faced, but we can choose to remember them for the love they gave, the joy they brought, and the light they shared with us.”

This approach validates their suffering while shifting the focus back to their life and legacy.

3. Be Honest But Be Gentle

Honesty is crucial in a eulogy, but it must be tempered with gentleness. It’s OK to admit that you don’t have all the answers or that you’re struggling to make sense of what happened.

Grieving is a shared experience and your vulnerability can help others feel less alone.

At the same time, avoid assigning blame; whether to the person who died, to yourself, or to others.

Suicide is rarely the result of one single factor and blame only deepens the pain you're feeling. Instead, focus on expressing love and gratitude for the time you had together.

4. Offer Comfort and Hope

It's important to remember that a eulogy is not just a tribute to the person who has died, it’s also a source of comfort for those who are grieving. Acknowledge the pain and confusion that suicide leaves in its wake, but also offer words of hope and healing.

Remind everyone that it’s OK to grieve, to ask for help, and to lean on one another during this difficult time. You might say something like:

“In the days and weeks to come, we will all grieve in our own ways. Let us be gentle with ourselves and with one another. Let us remember that it’s OK to seek help, to talk about our feelings, and to honor [Their Name]’s memory by living our lives with kindness and compassion".

5. Include Personal Stories and Memories

Personal anecdotes can bring warmth and humanity to any eulogy so it's important to share stories that highlight the person’s character, humour or kindness.

These moments can provide comfort and remind everyone of the joy the person brought into their lives. For example, the eulogy can use writing like this:

“I’ll never forget the time [Their Name] and I went on a trip and got hopelessly lost. Instead of getting frustrated, they turned it into an adventure and we ended up discovering this little country pub that became our favourite spot. That was [Their Name], always finding the silver lining and making the best of any situation.”

Stories like these celebrate the person’s life and help shift the focus away from their death.

6. Address Mental Health with Sensitivity

Suicide is often linked to mental health struggles (it certainly was in my case) and addressing this topic can be an opportunity to foster understanding and reduce stigma. However, it’s important to do so with care.

Avoid oversimplifying their struggles or making assumptions about their state of mind.

Instead, speak about mental health in a way that encourages empathy and support, for example:

“[Their Name] faced challenges that many of us could not see. Their struggle reminds us of the importance of compassion, of reaching out to those who may be suffering in silence and of breaking the stigma surrounding mental health”.

This approach not only honours the person who died, but also encourages others who may be struggling mentally to seek help and support one another.

7. End on a Note of Love and Gratitude

I would always conclude a eulogy, especially one dealing with suicide, by expressing your love and gratitude for the person who has died.

Let your final words be a celebration of their life and a reminder of the impact they had on those around them. This could be something like:

“[Their Name], we will carry you in our hearts always. Thank you for the laughter, the love and the memories. Though we may never understand why you left us, we choose to remember the light you brought into our lives. Rest peacefully, dear friend”.

Photo by Dan Meyers on Unsplash

Practical Tips for Delivering the Eulogy

Writing the eulogy is only part of the challenge; delivering it can be equally daunting.

Whilst I don't tend to deliver the eulogies I write for clients, I have done a lot of public speaking in my time, so here are a few tips to help you through the process:

1. Practice Beforehand

   Reading the eulogy aloud several times can help you feel more comfortable and ensure that your words flow smoothly.

   
   

2. Take your Time

   It’s OK to pause, take a deep breath, or even cry. Your emotions are a testament to your love for the person who has died.

   
   

3. Bring a Back-up

   If you’re worried about being too emotional to finish, before the service, ask someone you trust to be ready to step in if needed.

   
   

4. Focus on the Audience

   Remember that your words are a gift to those who are grieving. Let that thought guide you as you speak.

   
   

The PostScript

Writing a eulogy for someone who died by suicide is undoubtedly one of the hardest things you may ever do.

It's not just writing, it requires a different level of courage, compassion and a willingness to confront painful emotions but it is also an opportunity; to honour a life, to offer comfort and to foster understanding.

As you write, remember that there is no 'right' way to grieve or to eulogise. Your words don’t need to be perfect; they just need to come from the heart.

By focusing on the person’s life, acknowledging their struggles with compassion and offering hope to those who are grieving, you can create a eulogy that truly honours their memory.

In the end, the most important thing is to speak with love. Love for the person who has died, love for those who are grieving and love for the shared humanity that connects us all.

In the face of such a profound loss, love is the one thing that can guide us through the darkness and help us find our way forward. Let's hope for a day when Suicide Prevention Day is no longer needed at all.

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Thank you taking the time to read my post, I hope it's given you some help and guidance. If it's something you have experience of, then I offer my sincere condolences.

If you're not in a position to write the eulogy yourself, then I'd be honoured to help you. Whether you need a bespoke eulogy writing from scratch or just need an existing eulogy a professional polish, even if you just need someone to talk to about it, I'm here. Just get in touch and let's have a chat.