Life is a mosaic of diverse experiences, unique choices and distinct journeys.
While traditional lives often follow a familiar script - education, career, family, retirement - and whilst there's absolutely nothing wrong with that journey, there are those who forge their own paths, creating a narrative rich in individuality and personal fulfillment.
The kind of person you admire from afar and secretly a little jealous of.
Non-Traditional Lives and Their Eulogy
Whilst I love writing, crafting a eulogy for those who have lived, what many would call, 'non-traditional' lives, can be both a challenge and a profound honour.
It requires a deep understanding and appreciation of the person's unique essence, their choices and the legacy they leave behind.
We all know someone like this I'm sure so, with this blog, I wanted to put together a guide to celebrating those unconventional lives with the respect and vibrancy they deserve.
This is basically my process but if you're writing a eulogy for someone like that, then hopefully this will help you too.
Understanding the Essence of Unconventional Lives
I don't think there's a clear universally accepted definition, but let's say that an 'unconventional life' is one that deviates from societal norms and expectations, at least those norms prevalent in the UK!
In my mind, I think it’s characterised by a sense of adventure, independence and sometimes rebellion (but not in a Star Wars way).
These individuals might have chosen paths that seemed unpredictable, risky or entirely their own, at least compared to the rest of us.
They may have been artists, travelers, activists or those who pursued their passions despite societal pressures to conform.
When writing a eulogy for such individuals, it’s important to capture the spirit of their journey.
At the VERY least, you need to understand:
What drove them?
What were their passions and beliefs?
How did their unique path impact those around them?
Understanding these elements is crucial in crafting a eulogy that truly honours their memory. Let's look at 6 ways I think you can do this.
1. Gathering Stories and Memories
To begin, I like to gather stories and memories from those who knew the deceased well.
Speak with family, friends, colleagues and anyone who was touched by their life.
Ask questions that delve into the essence of their personality and the choices they made:
What were their greatest passions?
How did they defy convention in their life?
What unique experiences or adventures did they undertake?
How did they impact the lives of others?
These anecdotes will form the backbone of the eulogy, providing a vivid and personal portrait of the person being celebrated.
2. Emphasising Their Unique Journey
With those stories collected, move onto highlighting the unique aspects of their life.
Perhaps they travelled the world, lived off the grid, dedicated their life to a cause, or pursued an unconventional career.
Whatever it may be, emphasise the courage it took to live such a life, the challenges they faced and the triumphs they achieved.
Where possible, use specific examples to illustrate their journey and the impact they made.
For instance, if the person was a traveller who spent their life exploring different cultures, you might recount stories of their adventures, the people they met and the lessons they learned.
Also, if they were an artist, discuss their creative process, their works and how they inspired others.
3. Celebrating Their Achievements and Legacy
Unconventional lives often leave behind a unique legacy.
This might be a body of creative work, a series of impactful experiences, or a community of people inspired by their journey.
Whatever they may be, celebrate these achievements and the lasting influence they have.
For example, if the deceased was an activist, highlight the causes they championed, the changes they helped bring about and the people they inspired.
Alternatively, if they were an entrepreneur who built a business from scratch, talk about their innovation, resilience and the legacy of their enterprise.
4. Reflecting on Their Values and Beliefs
People who live unconventional lives often do so because of deeply held values and beliefs. Reflecting on these can provide insight into their choices and actions.
Whether it was a belief in freedom, creativity, justice or personal authenticity, these values are central to understanding their life.
In the eulogy, I think it's important to discuss these values and how they shaped the person's actions and decisions.
For instance, if they valued personal freedom above all else, describe how this belief influenced their lifestyle, relationships and career choices.
5. Balancing Humour and Solemnity
Even the most unconventional lives are often filled with moments of humour and levity.
However 'out there' their lifestyle might seem to some, including these in your eulogy can provide a well-rounded and authentic portrayal of their personality.
Share funny anecdotes, quirky habits and light-hearted stories that capture their personality.
However, balance these with moments of reflection and solemnity to honour their memory respectfully.
6. Incorporating Personal Reflections
Including your personal reflections can also add a real depth and sincerity to the eulogy. It's not enough to just say the things they did, but has more important knowing how those choices inspired those around them.
Share how the person impacted your life, what you learned from them and your favourite memories.
This personal touch makes the eulogy more heartfelt and relatable.
Structuring the Eulogy
A well-structured eulogy ensures that the narrative flows smoothly and keeps the audience engaged.
Here’s a suggested structure I use, but it's by no means the ONLY way to do it.
Introduction: Begin with a brief introduction, acknowledging the purpose of the gathering and the significance of the occasion.
Personal Background: Provide a brief overview of the person’s life, including key milestones and achievements.
Unique Journey: Discuss their unconventional path, using specific examples and anecdotes to illustrate their journey. Don't just tell people they had an non-traditional lifestyle, illustrate it with your words.
Values and Beliefs: Reflect on their core values and beliefs, and how these influenced their life choices.
Legacy and Impact: Highlight their achievements and the legacy they leave behind.
Personal Reflections: Share your personal reflections and memories.
Conclusion: Conclude with a final tribute, summarizing their unique spirit and the impact they made on the world.
Sample Eulogy
To clarify what I mean, here’s an abridged fictionalised eulogy to illustrate these principles.
Obviously a real one would be much longer than this, but I hope this small example helps you understand what I mean.
Introduction
We gather here today to celebrate the life of Joe Bloggs, a remarkable individual who chose to live life on their own terms. Joe's journey was anything but conventional, and it is this uniqueness that we honour today.
Personal Background
Born in a small town, Joe always felt a pull towards the unknown. From an early age, it was clear that Joe was destined for a life less ordinary. After finishing school, Joe took the road less travelled, embarking on a journey of self-discovery that would span continents and cultures.
Unique Journey
Joe was an adventurer at heart. With a backpack and an unquenchable thirst for knowledge, they travelled to over 50 countries, immersing themselves in diverse cultures and forging connections across the globe. Whether it was teaching English in rural Thailand, volunteering at an elephant sanctuary in Kenya, or learning to tango in Argentina, Joe’s life was a tapestry of extraordinary experiences.
Values and Beliefs
At the core of Joe's journey was a belief in the power of human connection and the importance of living authentically. They believed that life should be measured not by material possessions, but by the richness of one’s experiences and the impact one has on others. This belief guided Joe’s choices and inspired everyone they met.
Legacy and Impact
Joe’s legacy is one of inspiration and transformation. Through their travels, they not only broadened their own horizons but also opened the eyes of countless others to the beauty and diversity of the world. Their photography, shared widely on their Instagram account, captured the essence of the places they visited and the people they met, fostering a sense of global unity and understanding.
Personal Reflections
I had the privilege of knowing Joe for over a decade. Their spirit of adventure and unwavering positivity were contagious. I remember the stories they would share upon returning from each journey - tales of unexpected kindness, breathtaking landscapes, and lessons learned from strangers turned friends. Joe taught me that life is not about following a prescribed path but about creating your own, one step at a time.
In Conclusion
As we say goodbye to Joe, let us remember their life as a testament to the beauty of unconventional paths. Let us celebrate their courage, their curiosity, and the boundless love they had for the world. Joe's journey reminds us all to embrace our true selves, to seek out adventure, and to live with an open heart.
Final Thoughts...
Writing a eulogy for an unconventional life is a unique opportunity to honour a person’s individuality and the extraordinary path they chose.
By focusing on their unique journey, values and legacy, you can craft a tribute that captures the essence of their life and inspires others to celebrate their own unique paths.
In doing so, you not only honour their memory but also the spirit of living life authentically and boldly. Something we can all probably learn to do more of.
Thank you for taking the time to read this post. I hope you enjoyed my thoughts on writing a eulogy for those who've walked a different path, but I'd be interested in your thoughts too.
If that's you, what would you want including in your own eulogy? What would be the most important aspects you'd want attendees to know about your life? Have you been to a service of someone who lived a less-than-traditional lifestyle? How was it different to a 'normal' service? Leave a comment below; I'll read and respond to them all.
Of course, if you need any help writing a eulogy for some, whether they had a non-traditional lifestyle or not, I can help. Please take a look at the services I offer and if you need any help, please get in touch. Thanks again.
Comments