Meaningful Ways to Commemorate a Loved One Throughout the Year

On the day this blog is published (20th July 2026), my Mum would have been 91 years old. It's been nearly three years since she died and I miss her every single day. This day for myself and my family is tougher than normal. Her passing, and that of my father a couple of years earlier, is the reason you're on this website, and why I decided to make a living writing eulogies for people.

With that in mind, I wanted to commemorate her passing with a different kind of blog today. I hope you don't mind.

I occured to me that there are certain dates that seem to arrive with extraordinary speed after someone we love has died. Like today's birthday, but also wedding anniversaries, Christmas, Mother's Day, Father's Day, and perhaps most poignantly, the anniversary of their death. Even years later, these occasions have a way of stirring emotions we thought we'd tucked safely away, but there are some meaningful ways to commemorate a loved one, beyond the obvious.

Photo by Krzysztof Maksimiuk on Unsplash

As a professional eulogy writer, I've spoken with hundreds of families over the years navigating their own grief. One thing I've learned is that there is no "right" way to remember someone. Some people find comfort in quiet reflection, while others feel drawn to celebrate their loved one's life in vibrant and joyful ways. Both approaches - and everything in between - are equally valid.

Commemorating someone isn't about remaining trapped in grief. It's about continuing a relationship with the memories, values and love they left behind. The pain may soften over time, but the desire to remember rarely disappears.

If you find yourself approaching a significant date and wondering how best to honour someone you've lost, like I am today, here are 14 thoughtful ideas that may help. They certainly help me.

Meaningful Ways to Commemorate a Loved One & Why These Rituals Matter

When someone dies, the world often expects us to "move on" after the funeral has passed. Yet grief doesn't follow a timetable.

Having a personal tradition or ritual can provide structure on days that otherwise feel emotionally overwhelming. It gives us permission to pause, remember and acknowledge that someone important is missing. These moments aren't about dwelling on sadness. They're about recognising that love doesn't simply end because a life has. In fact sometimes the smallest gesture can become the most meaningful tradition.

1. Visit Their Resting Place

For many people, the most common things to do is visiting a grave or memorial. I've been and done just that today, because it provides a tangible place to reconnect with them.

You might:

• Lay fresh flowers.

• Tidy the grave.

• Light a small lantern (where permitted).

• Leave a handwritten note.

• Spend time quietly reflecting.

• Read a favourite poem aloud.

• Tell them about what's happened in your life since your last visit.

Some people worry if they visit too often. Others feel guilty if they don't. The truth is that remembrance isn't measured by mileage. If visiting brings you comfort, then that's fine. If your memories live elsewhere, that's perfectly acceptable too.

2. Light a Candle

Lighting a candle is one of humanity's oldest acts of remembrance. It requires no elaborate planning or great expense, yet the simple act of watching a gentle flame burn can create space for reflection.

Some families light a candle at the same time every year. Others gather together to share memories while it burns. Whichever works for you, the symbolism is powerful: although someone is no longer physically present, their light continues to shine through the people whose lives they touched.

3. Cook Their Favourite Meal

Food carries remarkable emotional memories. Perhaps your dad always made the Sunday roast. Maybe your grandmother baked unforgettable Victoria sponge cakes.

Perhaps your partner had an unhealthy obsession with fish and chips by the seaside.

Whatever it may be, preparing and sharing their favourite meal can be a surprisingly comforting way to remember them. It often sparks stories that might otherwise remain untold. Around the dinner table, laughter frequently returns alongside tears, and isn't that exactly as it should be?

4. Listen to Their Favourite Music

Music has a unique ability to transport us. This is especially true with my own Dad. This blog might explain why.

If you and your loved one share a passion for music, consider creating a playlist of songs they loved or music that reminds you of them. Whether it's classical music, Motown, The Beatles or guilty-pleasure pop songs, allow yourself to revisit those musical memories.

Don't be surprised if certain songs still make you emotional years later, that's simply love finding another language to express itself.

5. Donate to a Cause They Cared About

Many people find comfort in turning remembrance into generosity. Making a donation to a charity that mattered to your loved one allows their values to continue making a difference.

Perhaps they cared about:

• Cancer research.

• Animal welfare.

• Homelessness.

• Mental health.

• Veterans.

• Local community projects.

• Environmental causes.

I appreciate times are tough at the moment for many people, but even a modest donation can become a meaningful annual tradition as it transforms remembrance into positive action for others.

6. Volunteer in Their Memory

If your loved one was known for helping others, consider honouring them by giving your time. This could mean you:

• Volunteer at a local food bank.

• Help at a community café.

• Support a local hospice.

• Become involved with a charity close to your heart.

Not only does this celebrate the kind of person they were, but it also extends their legacy into the lives of strangers they'll never meet.

7. Create a Memory Box

Sometimes the smallest possessions hold the biggest memories. Put together a box that contains all these little treasured memories. A memory box might include:

• Photographs.

• Letters.

• Birthday cards.

• Holiday souvenirs.

• Favourite recipes.

• Concert tickets.

• Small keepsakes.

• Their watch or jewellery.

You don't need to look through it regularly, just simply knowing it's there can be comforting. For younger family members, memory boxes can become treasured connections to grandparents or parents they were too young to remember fully.

8. Continue Their Favourite Tradition

Rather than avoiding occasions that once centred around your loved one, consider continuing a tradition they started.

Perhaps they always organised the family Christmas quiz, or maybe they hosted the annual barbecue. Perhaps birthdays always included a particular cake or game, whatever it is, keeping these traditions alive can feel like carrying a small piece of them forward. The tradition may evolve, but its heart remains the same.

9. Plant Something That Grows

Watching something flourish year after year provides a gentle reminder that life continues. As such, many families choose to plant:

• A tree.

• Rose bush.

• Wildflowers.

• A favourite shrub.

• A memorial garden.

It can become somewhere peaceful to sit, reflect and remember. Unlike flowers that fade after a few days, living memorials continue growing for many years.

10. Write Them a Letter

This may sound unusual, but many bereavement counsellors recommend letter writing as a healthy way to process continuing grief. You can write about:

• What you've achieved.

• What you wish you could ask them.

• Family news.

• Things you miss.

• Funny memories.

• Moments when you've thought of them.

You don't need to show anyone, and you don't even need to keep the letter afterwards.

Sometimes simply expressing thoughts that have remained unsaid can bring surprising comfort.

11. Raise a Glass

If your loved one enjoyed a particular drink, why not raise a quiet toast in their honour? This doesn't need to become an extravagant occasion.

It can be one glass, one memory, one moment of gratitude.

Rather than focusing solely on the sadness of their absence, spend a few minutes celebrating the joy they brought while they were here.

12. Take a Walk Somewhere They Loved

We all have places in the world we love to be, your deceased friend or relative will be the same. Perhaps they loved the Lake District. Maybe it was a local woodland, or the beach, or their favourite park.

Walking somewhere they enjoyed allows you to experience the world through their eyes.

Many people find that movement also helps process difficult emotions more naturally than sitting still. Nature has a remarkable way of making space for reflection.

13. Do Something Unexpected

Not every act of remembrance has to feel solemn. If your loved one had a wonderful sense of humour, they probably wouldn't want everyone sitting in silence every year.

You might:

• Watch their favourite comedy.

• Visit their favourite football club.

• Go fishing because they loved it.

• Take the grandchildren somewhere they always enjoyed.

• Wear something that reminds you of them.

• Tell their favourite terrible jokes.

Celebrating someone's personality often honours them far more authentically than formal rituals alone.

14. Share Their Stories

One of my favourite pieces of advice when helping families write eulogies is simply this:

stories keep people alive. As long as we continue telling them, a person's influence continues too.

Whether we talk about them as a family, mention their name in conversation, tell the younger generation about the life they lived, share photographs of them in real life and on social media or laugh about their quirks, repeating these family stories means everyone remembers.

The greatest tribute isn't perfect silence, it's keeping their memory woven into our everyday conversations.

Photo by Priscilla Du Preez 🇨🇦 on Unsplash

Remember There Is No Right Way

Finally, I'll just say that some anniversaries you'll feel like gathering the whole family together, other years you may simply want a quiet cup of tea and a few moments alone. Neither choice is wrong.

Over time, grief changes, life changes, as such the way we remember naturally changes too. What matters isn't how elaborate your tribute is, but whether it feels authentic to your relationship with the person you've lost.

The PostScript: Every Life Deserves to Be Remembered

As a professional eulogy writer, I've come to believe that remembrance isn't confined to a funeral service.

A beautifully written eulogy may capture someone's life in words, but the real tribute continues long afterwards, in birthdays remembered, favourite meals cooked, stories retold, laughter shared and traditions continued. The people we love leave fingerprints on our lives that never truly disappear.

If you're approaching a difficult anniversary and are unsure how to honour someone you've lost, remember that the simplest gestures are often the most meaningful. There is no expectation to create a grand memorial. A quiet walk, a favourite song, a shared story or a moment of reflection can be every bit as powerful. Happy birthday Mum.

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Thanks for taking the time to read my post, if it made you reminise about your lost loved one, I hope those memories gave you comfort. I;d also love to know what you to commemorate your loved one? Do you have any traditions to keep their memory alive? Do you do it on your own or with family? Let me know in the comments below. I read and reply to all of them.

If you're preparing to say goodbye at a funeral, whether that is now or in the future, a thoughtfully written eulogy can become one of the most enduring commemorations of all. It celebrates not just how someone died, but how they lived, who they loved, what they believed in and the legacy they leave behind. If you're finding it difficult to put those memories into words, you don't have to face that challenge alone. As a professional UK-based eulogy writer, I help families create warm, authentic and deeply personal tributes that celebrate extraordinary lives with honesty, compassion and dignity. Together, we can create a eulogy that becomes not only a farewell, but a lasting gift for everyone who hears it. Get in touch with me and let's talk about it.

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