The Role of Religion in Eulogy Writing

No matter who's doing it, writing a eulogy is always a balancing act — between grief and gratitude, memory and meaning, truth and tenderness. But perhaps the most delicate balance of all comes when religion enters the frame.

Whether you’re deeply devout, gently spiritual, or firmly secular, religion often plays a role in how we talk about death and legacy. It shapes not only the ceremony in which a eulogy is spoken but also the language, tone and comfort that people seek from it.

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I know from experience that religion in eulogy writing is not a one-size-fits-all affair. Sometimes the deceased’s faith dictates the boundaries of what’s appropriate. Sometimes the writer’s beliefs seep in, consciously or not. And sometimes, religion isn’t the focus at all — and that can be just as meaningful.

In this blog I wanted to explore the role religion plays in eulogy writing, from the faith-filled to the faith-free, and the many spaces in between.

When the Deceased Was Religious But the Writer Isn’t

One of the most common challenges arises when you’re asked to write a eulogy for someone who was religious, but you aren’t. You might worry about saying the “wrong thing” about misrepresenting their beliefs, sounding insincere, or leaning too heavily on faith you don’t share.

Trust me when I say the first step is respect.

A eulogy is not about you; it’s about honouring the person who’s gone. That doesn’t mean pretending to share their faith, but it does mean acknowledging how their beliefs shaped their life. You might say something like:

“Faith was central to [Their Name's] life. She found comfort, guidance and purpose in her church community — and that faith carried her through life’s hardest moments.”

You don’t need to quote scripture or profess belief yourself; your role is to recognise its importance to them.

You can talk about how their faith made them kinder, stronger, or more hopeful. You can highlight acts of service, moments of prayer, or their devotion to ritual — as human expressions of love and meaning, not theological statements.

If you’re feeling uneasy about incorporating religious references, lean on universal values instead, things like compassion, forgiveness, courage, kindness. These are found in every religion, and in none. A eulogy that celebrates how a person lived those values will always ring true, regardless of belief.

And if the funeral itself is a religious service — say, a Christian mass or a Jewish memorial — it’s wise to align the tone of your eulogy with the context.

Avoid humour that could jar with solemnity, or commentary that questions faith. Think of your words as joining a wider chorus of remembrance - your verse should harmonise, even if it doesn’t echo every note.

When the Deceased Was Not Religious But the Writer Is

The opposite situation can be equally complex: when you hold strong religious beliefs but the person you’re eulogising did not. In this case, the challenge is restraint — honouring their worldview without imposing yours.

It can be tempting to reach for religious comfort in grief. Faith offers language for loss that feels grounding and familiar with statements like “they’re in a better place”, “God has called them home” or “We’ll meet again.” But for someone who did not share those beliefs, these words can ring hollow, or even disrespectful.

I believe the compassionate approach is to translate the comfort of faith into universally accessible language.

Instead of invoking heaven, talk about legacy — the continuation of their kindness, humour, or wisdom in the lives of those they touched. Instead of “God’s plan”, you might reflect on the mystery of existence, the beauty of having known them, or the love that endures beyond death.

That doesn’t mean censoring your faith entirely. It’s perfectly natural to include a brief personal reflection, especially if it’s sincere and grounded in gratitude rather than persuasion. For example:

“As a person of faith, I find comfort in believing that love never truly dies. But whether or not you share that belief, I think we can all agree that [Their Name]'s love remains here — in his family, his friends, and the countless lives he made brighter.”

This approach honours both perspectives, acknowledging your own beliefs while keeping the focus on the person and the shared human experience of loss.

When Faith and Family Are Mixed

In today’s world, families often span multiple beliefs — Christian and Muslim, Jewish and secular, Hindu and humanist. A eulogy, then, can sometimes feel like standing at the intersection of several faiths, each with its own customs and sensitivities.

When this happens, inclusivity is key. Avoid exclusive religious language that might alienate parts of the audience. Instead, use spiritual or symbolic expressions that can resonate across faiths: light, peace, love, journey, and legacy. These ideas appear in every belief system, even when interpreted differently.

You might also draw attention to the diversity itself. For example, you can say something like:

“Today, we come together from many walks of life and many beliefs — but united by one thing: our love for [Their Name]. She / He brought people together in ways that transcended difference, and it feels fitting that her / his farewell should do the same.”

In multicultural or interfaith families, this gentle inclusivity can mean more than you realise. It reminds everyone that, even in death, connection outweighs division.

When Religion Isn’t Relevant... and That’s OK

Let's not forget that not every eulogy needs to reference religion at all. For many people today, funerals are increasingly secular — a reflection not of cynicism, but of a desire for authenticity.

When the deceased had no religious affiliation or preference, a non-religious eulogy can be a powerful, personal celebration of their life.

Without religious structure, the eulogy becomes the moral centrepiece of the ceremony. It can carry the emotional weight that prayers or hymns might otherwise hold. You can reflect on the wonder of existence, the strength of human love, and the meaning we find in connection — themes that transcend doctrine.

In this context, poetry, literature, or even song lyrics often replace scripture. Quotes from writers like Mary Oliver, Khalil Gibran, or Alan Watts can provide a spiritual resonance without invoking religion. The key is to honour the truth of the person’s life, not to fill a perceived gap in ritual.

Religions That Don’t Traditionally Use Eulogies

It’s also worth remembering that not all religions incorporate eulogies into their funeral customs.

In some traditions, speaking about the deceased during the ceremony is discouraged or forbidden, often out of humility, reverence, or ritual purity.

For example Jewish funerals may include a hesped - a form of eulogy - but it’s usually brief, focused on moral character, and traditionally avoids exaggeration. Whereas Islamic funerals tend not to include eulogies at all. The focus is on prayers (dua) for the deceased, humility before God, and swift burial. Buddhist ceremonies may include reflections on impermanence and compassion but often steer away from personal praise, focusing instead on enlightenment and the cycle of life and death. Hindu funerals are more ritualistic, centred on releasing the soul and supporting reincarnation rather than eulogising the life lived.

If you’re asked to write a eulogy in such contexts, it’s essential to understand what’s appropriate. Bear in mind, a eulogy can be delivered outside the formal service - at a wake, a remembrance event, or a family gathering. Always consult with the family or officiant before assuming a eulogy will fit within a particular religious framework.

When given the opportunity to speak, adapt your tone to the ritual’s spirit.

In Islamic contexts, for instance, it may be more fitting to focus on prayers for mercy and peace rather than storytelling. In Buddhist settings, a tone of calm reflection may suit better than emotional flourish.

Respecting these customs isn’t about suppressing individuality; it’s about ensuring that your words align with the sacred rhythm of the ceremony.

Bridging Faith and Humanity

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At its core, every eulogy — whether religious, secular, or somewhere in between — is about connection.

Religion offers one lens through which we make sense of life and death, but the eulogy’s deeper purpose transcends creed: to bear witness to a life that mattered, and to offer comfort through shared memory.

Even if faith divides the living, the act of remembrance can unite them. In the quiet space between belief and disbelief, between ritual and personal reflection, I think there's something deeply human - a yearning to find meaning in loss.

As a professional eulogy writer, my task is to navigate that space with grace, and if you're writing one for a lost loved one, I think it should be yours too. Whether quoting scripture or Shakespeare, invoking heaven or human kindness, what matters most is sincerity. Authentic words spoken from the heart, not borrowed piety or forced detachment, are what people remember.

Because, in the end, religion in a eulogy is not just about doctrine. It’s about how we understand life, love, and legacy — and how we give thanks for the brief, beautiful gift of knowing someone at all.

The PostScript

At its core, a eulogy is an act of love. Whether steeped in the language of scripture or the quiet truths of a life well-lived, its purpose is to bear witness, to comfort and to connect.

There's no doubt that religion, when handled with sensitivity, can provide a powerful vessel for this purpose, a language of eternity for a moment defined by loss, but the absence of religious language does not (or should not) diminish a eulogy’s power; it simply grounds it in the tangible, earthly legacy of a human life.

The most successful eulogies, whether interfaith, secular, or devout, are those that listen first. They listen to the life of the person being honoured, to the beliefs that guided them and to the hearts of the community mourning them. They find the common ground of shared love and shared grief, and from that place, they speak, not to convert, not to judge, but to honour, to remember, and to begin the long, slow work of healing.

In the end, the role of religion in eulogy writing is not to provide all the answers, but rather to help us ask the right questions, and, if nothing else, remind us that even in the face of death, our capacity for reverence, empathy and love is what truly endures.

Finally, religion in a eulogy is neither mandatory nor irrelevant. It is one of many ways to express what is ultimately unchanging: that love endures, memory comforts, and every life — in its own way — is sacred.

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Thank you so much for reading my post, I hope you enjoyed it or, at least, it gave you some insight you may be able to use. I'd love to know your thoughts. Have you been to a funeral where there's been a bridge between the religious and non-religious aspects. Did it work? Do you think it needs to be one thing or another? Have you been to a funeral steeped in a different faith than your own? Let me know in the comments below.

If you need any help writing a eulogy for a loved one you've lost, please get in touch, I'd be honoured to help you create something special.

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