We live in an increasingly multicultural world, and I'm all for it. As a eulogy writer, I'm increasingly asked to write tributes that don't adhere to just one religious doctrine or a single belief system but often takes inspiration from many other cultures and creeds.
In our multicultural society, writing a eulogy is about more than reflecting on a life - it’s an opportunity to honour the diverse cultural, spiritual and religious traditions that shape who we are.
In diverse countries like the UK, crafting a eulogy has had to evolve too.
I believe the best eulogies need to reflect the rich tapestry of beliefs, customs, influences and values that shape the lives of those we honour.
It's a powerful tribute that not only reflects a person's life and legacy but also acknowledges the traditions and beliefs of their heritage.
Trust me when I say that when we all approach this with openness and respect, a eulogy can transcend words, bringing comfort and unity to friends and family from all walks of life, but how do you go about it? I'm glad you asked.
The Importance of Multicultural Sensitivity in Eulogy Writing
A multicultural eulogy seeks to celebrate and honour a person's life in a way that feels authentic and respectful to their heritage.
Understanding the nuances of different beliefs around death and mourning is crucial, as customs can vary widely, so it's something I have to be aware of.
For instance, did you know:
In Hinduism, death is viewed as a transition, not an end, often followed by rituals for the soul's journey toward liberation.
In Christianity, many eulogies focus on hope, redemption and the promise of eternal life.
In Chinese culture, honouring ancestors is paramount, with rituals that acknowledge respect for past generations.
There are obviously many more, but when writing a eulogy, it's also important to avoid generalisations and instead, focusing on specific customs that mattered to the individual can make the tribute deeply meaningful. Here are 7 of them.
1. Honouring Multiple Beliefs Without Offending
Balancing multiple cultural elements in a single eulogy can be a delicate task. Trust me on that.
In multicultural communities, it’s common for mourners from various backgrounds to attend the same ceremony. They may be part of different religions with many different viewpoints, but they all share one thing, a love and respect for the deceased.
We don't all have to agree on everything to come together, we just have to respect each other.
To create a eulogy that resonates with everyone present, it helps to:
Use universal language that appeals to shared human emotions we all experience like grief, love, gratitude, etc.
Highlight values that are respected across cultures, such as kindness, community, resilience and family-centric devotion.
Include quotes, verses, or proverbs that have universal appeal. For instance, a poet like Rumi speaks to both Eastern and Western audiences, while Bible verses that speak about love and compassion may resonate even beyond Christian circles.
Acknowledging beliefs without delving deeply into theological specifics can maintain respect while creating a sense of inclusivity.
2. Researching and Consulting on Cultural Beliefs
If you're unfamiliar with certain cultural traditions, taking time to research or consult with family members is invaluable.
Trust me on this! Google is your friend but check and double-check the information you find, don't just take the word of one random website.
Ask the family about any customs or values that should be highlighted and whether certain language or religious references are particularly meaningful.
By asking thoughtful questions, you gain insight into how best to honour their loved one without overstepping cultural boundaries.
For example:
What customs should be recognised? Are there key rituals, prayers or gestures that have particular significance for the deceased?
Are there certain terms or phrases that carry specific cultural meaning?
Would it be appropriate to include religious references or is a secular approach preferred?
3. Respecting Diverse Mourning Rituals
In some cultures, mourning is an intensely private matter, while in others, it is a much more communal experience.
Understanding how each culture views grief can guide the tone of the eulogy:
Public vs. Private Grieving: For instance, Irish wakes are known for their communal, sometimes even celebratory nature, while certain Eastern cultures may view grieving as a private, solemn experience. The tone of a eulogy should match these expectations where possible.
Duration of Mourning: In Jewish tradition, the mourning period (known as Shiva) lasts seven days, while other cultures may observe mourning for a year or more. By acknowledging these practices, you can reflect a family’s unique journey through grief.
Symbols and Rituals: Some traditions use flowers, candles, or incense as part of their mourning practices. While these may not directly impact the eulogy’s content, a mention of their importance to the deceased’s family can add a respectful nod to their customs.
4. Creating a Balance of Personal and Cultural Reflection
An effective eulogy not only honours the individual but also respects their identity within their cultural and familial context.
This balance can be achieved through:
Personal anecdotes that celebrate the individual’s personality and life journey, demonstrating the values they cherished.
Cultural touchstones such as family traditions, special festivals, or community contributions, that reflect the person’s background.
A shared sense of humanity that focuses on the qualities that transcend culture, like generosity, laughter, wisdom and love.
For instance, if the deceased celebrated cultural holidays with great joy, mentioning a story from these celebrations adds warmth to the eulogy, allowing listeners to connect with those moments.
5. Using Language Thoughtfully
Language holds immense power, especially when navigating multiple belief systems.
In multicultural eulogies I'd recommend...
Use inclusive language that avoids assumptions about the afterlife or religious doctrine unless specifically requested by the family.
Express condolences in a way that is universally comforting. Words like "peace” “legacy” and “memory” tend to have cross-cultural appeal, providing solace without any particularly religious connotations.
Avoid jargon or complex religious references that may be unfamiliar to parts of the audience. Instead, opt for broader expressions of compassion and unity.
If the family wishes to include specific religious references, they can be positioned respectfully.
For example, saying, “According to [deceased’s name]’s faith…” can acknowledge beliefs without asserting them over others.
6. Embracing Multicultural Elements as a Celebration of Life
A multicultural eulogy presents a unique opportunity to celebrate life’s diversity.
When done well, it shows that every culture brings something beautiful to the human experience.
This celebration can be woven into the eulogy by:
Mentioning the diversity of the people gathered, acknowledging that this reflects the broad influence of the person’s life.
Highlighting the deceased’s openness to other cultures, if applicable. Many people in diverse communities develop a blend of customs and friendships that cross cultural boundaries.
Recognising values shared by all - Consider the desire to love, to be remembered, and to make a positive impact. These are all themes that all listeners can resonate with regarldess of their religious beliefs.
7. Remembering the Power of Sincerity
Writing a multicultural eulogy is an art that combines sensitivity, inclusivity and a deep respect for diversity but no amount of research can replace the impact of a sincere and heartfelt tribute.
A multicultural eulogy is most powerful when it feels genuine, so speak (or write) from the heart.
Being sincere doesn’t mean knowing everything about every belief. Rather, it’s about acknowledging that each person’s life story is shaped by their cultural background and expressing respect for that diversity.
Expressing gratitude for the person’s life, reflecting on their unique qualities and extending sympathy to all present are universal ways to honour the deceased.
By honouring a person’s life while being mindful of their cultural and religious background, a eulogy becomes more than a farewell - it becomes a celebration of everything they brought into the world and a reminder of the unity that connects us all.
When you write with honesty and compassion, people from all walks of life will feel seen and respected.
The Final Words
If nothing else, remember that writing a multicultural eulogy that acknowledges these diverse traditions can be a way to bring comfort to mourners from all backgrounds.
By honouring the deceased’s cultural and religious practices, whether through the choice of words, stories shared or customs respected, anyone can create a tribute that resonates with everyone present.
Whilst increasingly looked down upon by some, in a world enriched by diversity, a eulogy can become a bridge that unites people through a shared love and respect for the individual, while honouring the unique path they walked in life.
I hope these examples demonstrate that, while the role of a eulogy varies across cultures, it universally serves as a vehicle for remembrance and respect. Something I strive for every day.
Thank you for taking the time to read my latest post. I hope you found some value in it. I'd love to know what you think. Did you enjoy this post? Have you written or heard a eulogy that dealt with multiculturalism well (or badly)? How did they tackle it? Is it something you'll want in your eulogy? Let me know in the comments below.
If you need someone to write a eulogy for someone close to you, I'd be honoured to help. Please take a look at the services I offer here; whether you need a beautiful bespoke eulogy written from scratch, a living eulogy written for yourself or if a eulogy you have already needs a professional polish, I can help.
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