Can AI Write a Eulogy?
I doubt it will come as a shock to anyone on this website, but I write bespoke eulogies for a living. It's a strange job to explain at parties, but it's one I've come to regard as a privilege. Over the two years or so since I started PostScript, I've written hundreds of tributes: for fathers and mothers, for beloved grandparents, for a few people taken far too young, and for one memorable fellow whose send-off included a specification about the exact brand of biscuits to be served afterwards. True story.
Every single one of those eulogies was different, because every single person was different. So when people ask me, "Can't you just get AI to write a eulogy these days?", I always give the same answer (sometimes through gritted teeth). Yes, it can... and that's precisely the problem.
Here's the thing, though: a eulogy isn't really a piece of writing. It's a piece of evidence. It's the spoken proof that the person who's passed away existed, that they mattered, and that someone noticed. The words I write are just the delivery mechanism for the memories of others.
Artificial intelligence has, very quickly, become a normal part of everyday life for many of us. People use it to write emails, plan holidays, generate ideas, answer questions, create images and video and even help people make difficult decisions. Maybe in a couple of years AI will kill us all, but more and more people are turning to AI tools such as ChatGPT, Grok or Claude when they need help putting their thoughts into words.
Perhaps it was inevitable, but as I review my business's ongoing SEO strategy as I do regularly, I've noticed search terms relevant to PostScript Eulogies that mention AI. Increasingly, potential customers have started to ask another, rather more personal question that very much impacts me and my business, including "can AI write a eulogy?"
The short answer, as much as it pains me to say, is obviously yes. Give an AI tool a few instructions, tell it that you need a eulogy for your father, mother, partner, friend or work colleague, and within seconds it'll produce something that looks remarkably convincing.
It will probably contain all the familiar ingredients of a eulogy: a few words about a life well lived, references to love and laughter, an acknowledgement of the sadness of losing someone, and a suitably uplifting conclusion about how their memory will live on.
It might even sound rather beautiful. But there is a rather important distinction between a machine "writing" something that looks like a eulogy and a human being writing something unique that genuinely honours a particular person's life, and that is where the problem begins.
As a professional eulogy writer, I understand AI can be a useful tool for helping some people find their way through the writing process. However, I would be much more cautious about allowing it to write the finished eulogy. Because while AI can clearly produce a page of nice-sounding words, it cannot reproduce the memories, relationships, experiences and little details that make someone irreplaceable, and surely that is the whole point?
AI Can Write a Eulogy, But It Doesn't Know the Person
You might be reading this and thinking, "Well, I'm not a writer. Surely a generic eulogy is better than nothing?"
I understand the impulse; I really do. Grief is exhausting. Standing up in front of a room full of mourners is terrifying. When you're in the thick of it, the idea of outsourcing the hardest part is genuinely tempting, but I'd urge you to think carefully, because there are several reasons why an AI eulogy is a bad idea, and they're not all just about quality.
Let's start by acknowledging what AI does rather well. It can construct sentences, organise information, follow instructions and adopt a particular tone. It can produce a formal eulogy, something more conversational, or even a speech that incorporates a little gentle generic humour. I'm sure it can suggest an opening, provide a structure and help someone who is struggling to find the right words.
But ask it to write a eulogy for someone you have loved, and it faces an immediate problem. Unless you provide it with detailed information, it knows absolutely nothing about that person.
It doesn't know that your dad always burnt the toast but insisted he was an excellent cook. It doesn't know that your mum had a habit of singing the completely wrong lyrics to songs on the radio, or that your best friend could make an entire room laugh simply by raising an eyebrow. It doesn't know about the holidays that went wrong, the family traditions that endured for decades, the difficult times overcome together or the seemingly insignificant moments that have become your most treasured memories.
Instead, it has to rely on generalisations.
The result is often a perfectly acceptable, but entirely interchangeable piece of writing. Sure, you could change the name at the top and use the same eulogy for almost anybody. It might talk about kindness, generosity, a wonderful sense of humour, devotion to family and the positive impact someone had on those around them. All perfectly reasonable sentiments, of course, but they could describe millions of people. In other words, they could describe a mum, but never YOUR mum.
A eulogy should do considerably more than that. It should give people a glimpse of the individual who has died. It should make someone in the congregation smile because they recognise a familiar characteristic, laugh because they remember an amusing incident, or perhaps shed a tear because a particular memory captures something they thought nobody else had noticed.
However advanced it gets, AI cannot and never will do that without being given the raw material. Even when it is given that information, turning it into something meaningful requires more than simply arranging a collection of facts into paragraphs and prompts.
The Problem With Generic, Banal Sentiments
One of the biggest dangers of using AI to write a eulogy is that it can produce language that sounds impressive without necessarily saying very much, or anything of substance.
I'm sure we have all encountered those familiar phrases at funerals we've attended over the years or in a newspaper obituary: "They touched the lives of everyone they met", "They were a beacon of light in our lives", "Their legacy will live on forever" or "They may be gone, but they will never be forgotten".
Don't get me wrong, there is nothing inherently wrong with these expressions. Sometimes they are entirely appropriate, but when they appear in almost every AI-generated eulogy, they can begin to feel rather hollow and certainly not personal.
For me, a person's life is rarely defined by a collection of grand, if banal, statements. It is defined by the things they did, the people they knew, the decisions they made, the challenges they faced and the peculiar little habits that made them who they were.
Perhaps they weren't particularly outgoing. Maybe they were stubborn, occasionally grumpy, hopelessly disorganised or not especially good at expressing their feelings. Perhaps their relationships were complicated, their life didn't follow a conventional path, or they had made mistakes along the way.
They might not be aspects of a perfect life (if such a thing exists), but these things matter too.
A meaningful eulogy doesn't need to portray somebody as perfect. In fact, an overly flattering account can sometimes feel less authentic than one that acknowledges the realities of a complicated human life. People don't need to be presented as saints to be remembered with love and affection.
AI, particularly when given limited information, tends to gravitate towards the positive, the predictable and the universally acceptable, because that's how it's been taught. I get that, but the result can be a sanitised version of someone's life that bears little resemblance to the person everyone actually knew.
AI Doesn't Understand the Emotional Weight of Your Memories
There is another important consideration, and it goes beyond the quality of the writing itself.
Writing a eulogy is an emotional experience. Trust me, I do it for a living. Whilst I usually don't know the person who I'm writing about, that doesn't mean learning about their life or those they leave behind doesn't affect me.
When someone dies, it requires families to revisit memories, think about relationships and confront the reality that someone is no longer here. Sometimes those memories are wonderful; sometimes they are painful. Often, they are a mixture of both.
An AI tool can process information about grief, loss and bereavement. It can recognise words associated with sadness and generate responses that sound sympathetic, but it doesn't experience grief. It doesn't understand what it means to lose someone who has been part of your life for 10, 40 or 70 years. It has absolutely no idea why a particular photograph makes you cry, why a seemingly insignificant conversation has stayed with you, or why one particular story makes you smile when everything else feels unbearable.
This emotional understanding is central to good eulogy writing and why I love doing this job. It is not simply about finding the right words; it is about understanding why those words matter, to me, to you, to everyone!
As a professional eulogy writer, much of my workday isn't actually spent writing, but listening. When speaking to clients, I want to know about the person who has died, but I also want to understand the people who are left behind. What do they want to say? What are they finding difficult? What memories are important to them? What would they like people to take away from the service?
Sometimes, the most revealing details emerge from conversations that have very little to do with the conventional milestones of someone's life. A throwaway comment, a funny anecdote or a small domestic detail can tell us more about a person than an entire list of professional achievements.
That is the human element that AI struggles to replicate.
It Can Get Things Wrong... And That Matters!
Another reason to exercise caution is accuracy.
AI tools are not infallible. They can misunderstand instructions, invent details, make assumptions and occasionally produce information that simply isn't true. This is sometimes referred to as an AI hallucination. In a eulogy, read during a memorial service for a loved one, it would be disastrous.
If you're using AI in your daily life to make things easier, then, in most situations, an inaccurate answer might be mildly irritating. In a eulogy, it could be considerably more upsetting.
Imagine an AI-generated speech that attributes an achievement to the wrong person, gets a family relationship wrong, invents a story or makes an incorrect assumption about someone's personal circumstances. Even something relatively minor could cause distress at an already difficult time.
There is also the question of privacy.
To produce something more personalised, you might be tempted to feed an AI tool detailed information about someone's life, relationships, health, family difficulties or personal history. Most people wouldn't feel comfortable sharing such intimate information with a currently unregulated online service, particularly when it concerns someone who has died.
There is also the danger of accepting what AI produces simply because it sounds convincing. A beautifully written paragraph isn't necessarily an accurate one. Every detail needs to be checked, and every sentiment needs to feel appropriate to the person being remembered.
A eulogy is an important part of someone's final farewell. It deserves more care than simply accepting the first draft that appears on a screen, doesn't it?
Outsourcing Grief
Finally, and perhaps most importantly, the writing is part of the grieving. I know that sounds like something a professional eulogy writer would say, but hear me out. The process of sitting down and dredging up memories - the good ones, the funny ones and the ones you'd forgotten - is not an obstacle on the way to the finished speech. It is the work.
It's how you begin to make sense of your loss. It's how you discover what you actually want to say. If you hand that task to a machine, you don't just outsource the writing. You outsource a piece of your own goodbye... and you can't get that back. Ever.
Could AI Make a Eulogy Sound Less Personal?
There is something else worth considering. A eulogy is not an email, a business report or a piece of marketing copy. It is a speech delivered in front of people who knew and loved the person who has died.
Those people at a funeral aren't looking for literary perfection, but they do want to hear something that feels genuine.
Sometimes the most powerful words are also the simplest. A slightly awkward phrase, a familiar expression, or a story told in the speaker's own words can have far greater emotional impact than a beautifully constructed paragraph.
AI can sometimes make writing sound too polished. It can remove the natural imperfections that make a speech feel authentic, replacing someone's individual voice with something that sounds as though it has come from a generic speechwriting manual.
This can be particularly problematic if the person delivering the eulogy is already nervous. Reading something that doesn't sound like you, or that uses language you wouldn't ordinarily use, can make an already emotional experience even more difficult.
A good eulogy should feel just as comfortable in the mouth as it does feel meaningful on the page. There's a cadence to a good eulogy. It should sound like something you would actually say, not something an algorithm thinks you ought to say.
The Value of a Human Ear
This is what I do, and I say this not to blow my own trumpet but to explain why the job exists.
A good eulogy writer doesn't invent the memories - the family does that. What I bring is the time, the patience, the questions, and the craft. I sit with you, or talk with you on the phone, and I ask about the small things. What did she always say when she answered the door? What was his ridiculous Sunday routine? What did they do that drove you mad, and what do you miss about it now? Then I take all of that - the laughter, the tears, the tangled, real, specific truth of a life — and I shape it into something you can stand up and read without falling apart.
That's not something an algorithm can do. It's not something an algorithm should do. Yes, AI can write you a eulogy in thirty seconds, and it will be perfectly fine. But "perfectly fine" is the lowest possible bar for the most important speech you'll ever give. The person you've lost deserved better than a bog-standard template, don't they?
So if you're tempted to type a prompt into an AI chatbot and hope for the best, please don't. Talk to someone instead. I'm not saying it has to be me, but tell them about the person you loved — all of it, the quirks and the achievements and the terrible instant coffee.
That, my friends, is how a eulogy gets written. That's how a person gets remembered, and if you'd like help turning all of that into words you can stand up and say with pride, get in touch, that's what I'm here for.
So, Is There a Place for AI in Eulogy Writing?
Absolutely. I don't believe we should dismiss AI completely, and I certainly wouldn't suggest that people should feel guilty about using it for a little assistance. In fact, as much as I hate to admit it, there are several ways it can be helpful.
If you're writing it yourself and struggling to get started, AI can suggest a basic structure for your eulogy. It can offer ideas for opening sentences, help you organise a collection of memories or suggest different ways to approach a particular subject.
If you're unsure how to include humour appropriately, it might provide some useful starting points (or you could click here to read my blog about it). It can also help you identify areas where your writing feels repetitive or where a sentence could be clearer.
For someone who feels completely overwhelmed, that initial assistance can be valuable.
However, I would encourage you to think of AI as an assistant, rather than an author. Use it to help you explore ideas, but don't hand over responsibility for telling someone's life story, especially someone close to you.
Personally, a much better approach is to start with your own memories. Write down the stories, characteristics, achievements, favourite expressions and little details that made the person special. Ask the same of those closest to them. Don't worry about grammar, structure or whether everything sounds particularly eloquent. Get the information down first. There's a creative / design principle that says "First make it exist, then make it good". That definitely applies here.
Once you have something, you can then use AI to help organise your thoughts, but make sure the final version reflects your own experiences, your own feelings and your own relationship with the person who has died. If you find the process too difficult, there is another option.
Sometimes, It's Better to Ask a Human
Writing a eulogy is not something everyone finds easy. If they did, people like me wouldn't be needed. Even people who are confident writers can struggle when the subject is someone they have loved. Grief can make it difficult to concentrate, organise thoughts or find the words to express feelings that are sometimes too complicated to explain.
There is absolutely no shame in asking for help.
As a professional eulogy writer, my role isn't simply to produce a speech. It is to help people tell a story that matters. That involves listening, asking questions, exploring memories and finding a way to bring everything together in a thoughtful, compassionate and authentic way.
Sometimes that means celebrating a wonderful life filled with achievements and happy memories. Sometimes it means finding a sensitive way to acknowledge a more complicated relationship, and sometimes it means discovering that the smallest details are actually the most important ones.
The finished eulogy should belong to the person who has died and the people who are remembering them. It should reflect their personality, their individuality and the impact they had on others.
If you are struggling to know where to start, or feel too overwhelmed by grief to write something yourself, I can help you create a bespoke eulogy that captures the person rather than simply describes the life. Because ultimately, nobody should have to face the pressure of finding the perfect words alone.
The PostScript: AI Can Write the Words, But It Can't Tell Their Story
So, can AI write a eulogy? As much as I hate to admit it, yes, without question, but with caveats. It can produce a coherent, well-structured speech in a matter of seconds. It can even make it sound moving, thoughtful and eloquent, but the real question is, should it?
I would argue that the answer is no, at least not without significant human involvement.
Maybe the terrifying day will come that AI is so advanced that it knows everything about everyone, and I'm out of a job, but a eulogy isn't simply a collection of carefully chosen words. It is an opportunity to celebrate an individual, remember their quirks, acknowledge their achievements, share their stories and recognise the difference they made to the people around them.
AI can tell us what a eulogy is supposed to sound like. It can offer suggestions, provide structure and help us overcome the dreaded blank page. But it cannot know what made your dad laugh, what made your grandmother special or why your best friend was quite unlike anybody else. It cannot recreate the memories that belong to you, and perhaps that is the most important point of all.
We live in a world where technology is increasingly capable of doing things for us, but there are still some things that deserve a more personal touch. A eulogy is one of them.
Let AI help you find the words if you need it to, but make sure the story remains human. Because the person you are remembering deserves more than a generic tribute. They deserve something that could only ever have been written about them.
Thank you so much for taking the time to read my blog, I really do appreciate it. What are your thoughts on AI in general? Have you embraced it? Have you avoided it? Would you want your own eulogy to be written by artificial intelligence? Any thoughts on what I've written here? Let me know in the comments below. I read and reply to all of them.
If you need a eulogy for a loved one written by a human being, please reach out to me and let's have a conversation about how I can help or click the button below to start the process.
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