Writing a eulogy is one of the most heartfelt and challenging tasks one can undertake.
It is an opportunity to honour and celebrate the life of a loved one, to capture the essence of their being and to convey their story to those gathered to remember them.
From the Heart to the Page: Using Creative Writing Techniques in a Eulogy
As a professional writer for well over a decade, in that time I've been commissioned to write blogs, newspaper and magazine articles and published books on the widest range of subjects you could imagine.
When I first started my writing journey, I used to get so anxious when asked to write about a subject I was unfamiliar with, which was almost every time I was hired!
As I gained more experience, I began to understand that, by using commonly understood creative writing techniques, the subject wasn't as important as I used to think.
Yes, of course, I needed to research the subject matter, but once I had that, it wasn't as important as the structure and narrative of the piece itself.
Over time, once I fully grasped the concepts and principles of creative writing, I could apply them to almost any piece of work I created.
You might think that, given the subject matter, writing a eulogy would be exempt from these principles, but that's not the case.
I truly believe that utilising some common creative writing techniques can transform a eulogy from a mere recitation of facts into a powerful, moving tribute that resonates deeply with listeners.
It's for that reason I wanted to share some of my process with you. Here’s how I incorporate ten of these techniques to craft a eulogy for clients that speaks from the heart. Kicking off with....
1. Start with a Strong Opening
In creative writing, the opening line is crucial in capturing the reader’s attention.
Similarly, the beginning of a eulogy should engage the audience and set the tone. An anecdote, a memorable quote, or a vivid description can serve as an effective hook.
For instance, you might start with a cherished memory that encapsulates the essence of the deceased:
"I remember the way Mum's kitchen always used to smell like freshly baked biscuits, her laughter filling the air as she shared stories from her childhood."
This approach, whilst not the only way to start, immediately draws listeners in and provides a personal connection to the subject.
2. Use Vivid Imagery
Imagery is a powerful tool in creative writing, painting pictures with words that allow readers to not only see but also hear and feel the scene being described.
In a eulogy, vivid imagery can bring memories to life, helping the audience to visualise and emotionally connect with the deceased.
It's important to describe not just what they did, but how they did it, and the impact it had. on those closest to them:
"Uncle John had a way of turning every fishing trip into an adventure. I can still see him, standing at the edge of the lake, the sun setting behind him, casting a golden glow over the water. His eyes would sparkle as he told tales of the ‘one that got away’."
This use of imagery creates a lasting impression and helps the audience to relive shared experiences, even if they didn't experience them personally.
3. Incorporate Storytelling
Storytelling is at the heart of creative writing, and it can also be the heart of a eulogy.
Sharing stories about the deceased makes the eulogy more personal and relatable.
I think a eulogy works best when you choose stories that highlight the character of the deceased including their values and the way they touched the lives of others.
Make sure to include a mix of humorous, touching and reflective anecdotes to provide a well-rounded portrayal.
"I’ll never forget the time Dad tried to teach me to ride a bike. He ran alongside me, breathless but determined, until I finally managed to stay upright. His face beamed with pride, and he shouted, ‘See, I told you you could do it!’ That was Dad - always my biggest cheerleader."
Stories like these provide concrete examples of the deceased's personality and the impact they had on others.
Incidentally, I have a blog all about using humour in eulogies linked here (and listed below) if you'd like to know more about how to use humour in a eulogy.
4. Show, Don’t Tell
The principle of "show, don’t tell" is a cornerstone of creative writing.
Instead of merely telling the audience about the deceased’s qualities, show them through actions and examples.
Rather than saying, "She was kind and generous," you might illustrate these traits with a story.
"Jane always went out of her way to help others. I remember one cold winter, she noticed a homeless man shivering on the street. Without hesitation, she took off her own coat and gave it to him, insisting he needed it more than she did."
This approach makes the eulogy more engaging and allows the audience to see the deceased’s attributes in action.
5. Use Dialogue
Including snippets of dialogue in your eulogy can bring the deceased’s voice to life, making the tribute more personal and dynamic.
Quoting their favourite sayings or memorable conversations can also add authenticity and emotional depth:
"Every time I faced a tough decision, Grandpa would say, ‘Always follow your heart, kiddo. It’ll never lead you astray.’ Those words still guide me today."
This technique helps to create a more vivid and intimate portrayal of the deceased.
6. Find the Theme
Just as a story has a theme, a eulogy can benefit from a central theme that ties everything together.
This theme might be a particular quality of the deceased, such as their kindness, resilience or sense of humour.
Identify a theme that resonates with you and build your eulogy around it. For example, if the theme is the deceased’s generosity, weave this trait throughout your stories and reflections:
"If there’s one thing that defined Sarah, it was her unwavering generosity. Whether it was her time, her resources, or her love, she gave freely and unconditionally."
A clear theme provides a cohesive structure to your eulogy and helps to emphasise the most important aspects of the deceased’s life.
7. Use Metaphors and Similes
Metaphors and similes can add depth and richness to your eulogy by drawing comparisons that evoke emotions and create a deeper understanding.
In case you don't know, a metaphor is when a word is used in place of another to suggest a likeness whereas a simile is a figure of speech that compares two otherwise dissimilar things, often introduced by the words 'like' or 'as'.
For instance, describing someone as having a "heart of gold" or saying "her smile was like sunshine on a rainy day" can convey much more than straightforward descriptions.
"John’s resilience was like a sturdy oak tree, weathering every storm that came his way with unwavering strength."
These literary devices can help to encapsulate the essence of the deceased in a memorable and poignant way.
8. Keep it Personal and Authentic
While it’s important to incorporate creative writing techniques, I believe the most effective eulogies are still those that are personal and authentic.
Speak from the heart, and don’t be afraid to share your own feelings and reflections.
Authenticity resonates with listeners and makes the eulogy more meaningful
"Losing Emily feels like losing a piece of my own heart. She was my sister, my confidant, and my best friend. Her absence leaves a void that can never be filled, but her spirit will live on in the memories we shared."
By being genuine and honest, you create a connection with the audience that transcends the written word.
9. Maintain a Balance
Remember that a good eulogy should strike a balance between honouring the deceased and comforting the living.
While it’s important to acknowledge the pain of loss, it’s equally important to celebrate the life that was lived.
Infuse your eulogy with a whole range and mix of emotions. Of course, there's going to be grief, but don't forget about joy, gratitude and hope.
"While we mourn her passing, we also celebrate the incredible life she lived. Her laughter, her love, and her indomitable spirit will forever be a part of us."
Balancing these emotions creates a well-rounded tribute that honours the deceased while offering solace to those in mourning.
10. Conclude with a Powerful Closing
Just as a strong opening is important, a powerful closing leaves a lasting impact.
The conclusion should encapsulate your main message and provide a sense of closure. You might end with a final story, a meaningful quote, or a heartfelt goodbye.
"As we say our final farewell, let us remember the words she lived by: ‘Love deeply, laugh often, and live life to the fullest.’ Goodbye, dear friend. You will be forever missed, but never forgotten."
A well-crafted closing provides a fitting end to the eulogy and leaves the audience with a sense of peace and remembrance.
Final Thoughts...
Writing a eulogy is a deeply personal and emotional task, but by incorporating creative writing techniques, you can create a tribute that truly honours and celebrates the life of your loved one.
Use a strong opening to engage your audience, incorporate vivid imagery and focus on storytelling to bring memories to life, and authentic, heartfelt language to convey your feelings.
Balance your reflections with a mix of emotions, and conclude with a powerful closing that leaves a lasting impact.
I believe that by following these guidelines, you can craft a eulogy that speaks from the heart and offers a meaningful tribute to the one you’ve lost.
There we go! These are just my thoughts, but I'd love to know what you think too. If you've written a eulogy for someone, how did you go about it? Did you utilise any of these techniques or any others you know? Is it something you'd do again? Let me know in the comments below.
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Main blog photo by Etienne Girardet on Unsplash
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