Revisiting Your Past Self: Writing a Living Eulogy for Personal Growth
- Gary Michaels
- Jun 16
- 9 min read
As a professional eulogy writer, ever since I started PostScript Eulogies in May 2024, I’ve spent the last year or so helping people craft heartfelt tributes for loved ones who have passed.
These words I write are meant to honour a life well-lived, to celebrate their achievements and to offer comfort to those left behind. But what if we didn’t wait until the end to reflect on our own stories?
What if we could write a living eulogy, not for our final farewell, but as a tool for personal growth, self-reflection and intentional living?
What if I told you the most powerful eulogy you’ll ever hear… is your own? Not whispered at a podium, not framed by lilies, not delivered after you're gone, but written while you’re still very much alive, breathing, evolving and becoming.
Over the last year or so I’ve written hundreds of farewell speeches; some steeped in grief, others glimmering with laughter. But one of the most transformative services I offer isn’t reserved for funerals. It’s something called a living eulogy.
And no, it’s not as morbid as it sounds.
In fact, writing a living eulogy is one of the most life-affirming acts you can undertake.
It’s a personal growth exercise, a mindset shift and a therapeutic reflection tool all rolled into one. It allows you to take stock of who you’ve been, where you’ve stumbled, what you’ve overcome, and, most importantly, where you want to go next.
A living eulogy is a powerful exercise in self-discovery and life reflection. It allows you to step back, assess your journey and reframe your narrative in a way that empowers you to create a life you’re truly proud of.
With this post, I wanted to explore why revisiting your past self through this practice can be transformative, and how you can start this journey of self-discovery right now!
What Is a Living Eulogy?
Let's start with the basics. A living eulogy is a reflective, first-person narrative that treats your current life as if it’s being remembered fondly by someone who loved and understood you deeply, in other words, your future self.
Rather than waiting for someone else to sum up your life when it’s over, a living eulogy allows you to witness your own journey while you still have time to shape it.
Think of it as a eulogy-meets-manifesto: a way to celebrate the version of you that has survived so far, while also laying the groundwork for the version of you that wants to thrive.
It’s not about perfection. It’s about progress.
Why Write a Living Eulogy?
Let's be honest, most of us go through life on autopilot, reacting to circumstances rather than consciously shaping our path. I'm guilty of that for sure.
We rarely pause to ask the important questions like:
What do I want my life to stand for?
How do I want to be remembered?
Am I living in alignment with my deepest values?
A living eulogy forces these questions to the surface. Unlike a bucket list or a vision board, it’s not just about future aspirations, it’s about integrating your past, present and future self into one cohesive story, but what else does it offer?
1. Reframe Your Narrative
We’re all the unreliable narrators of our own lives. Too often, we get stuck replaying our regrets or diminishing our achievements. A living eulogy offers a new lens, one that filters for meaning, growth and impact.
By viewing your past through a compassionate, holistic perspective, you begin to honour experiences rather than judge them.
That failed job? Maybe it sparked your creativity. That toxic relationship? Perhaps it taught you resilience. That detour you didn’t plan? It might be the reason you’re where you are now.
2. Making Sense of Your Life Story
Human beings are natural storytellers. We make sense of our experiences by weaving them into narratives. But sometimes, our internal stories become limiting, filled with regrets, missed opportunities, or self-doubt.
Writing a living eulogy helps you:
Reframe challenges as growth opportunities.
Acknowledge your resilience in overcoming obstacles.
Recognise patterns that no longer serve you.
When you examine your life as if you were writing your own eulogy, you gain clarity on what truly matters.
3. Fuel Personal Growth
Writing a living eulogy can be a catalyst for change. It draws a line in the sand. You reflect, you grieve what no longer serves you and you imagine a new story that does.
When my clients read their living eulogies aloud, it’s not unusual for them to get upset, even cry - not because they’re sad, but because they’re seen. By themselves. Often for the first time.
It creates space for accountability and hope. It reminds you that you’re still writing your story and every chapter from here is still unwritten.
4. Gain Clarity and Perspective
Life moves fast. Too fast at times! We rarely pause to ask: Who am I becoming? A living eulogy gives you the time and structure to do just that.
When you step outside your own head and write about yourself in the third person, you gain emotional distance that fosters clarity.
You start to see patterns, missed opportunities, surprising strengths. You start to notice what actually matters to you, not what the world told you should matter!
5. Cultivating Gratitude and Self-Compassion
Many of us are quick to criticise ourselves for past mistakes, but slow to celebrate our progress. I'm certainly guilty of that too!
A living eulogy shifts the focus from what went wrong to how far you’ve come.
What are you proud of?
Who have you become because of your struggles?
How have you touched the lives of others?
This practice fosters self-compassion, a crucial element in personal growth.
6. Clarifying Your Future Direction
Once you’ve reflected on your past and present, you can ask questions like:
If I were to die tomorrow, what would I regret not doing?
What legacy do I want to leave?
How can I live more intentionally starting today?
A living eulogy shouldn't be morbid, far from it, it can be a motivational tool to align your actions with your values.
When Should You Write One?
The fact is there’s no wrong time to write a living eulogy, but here are a few common windows of opportunity:
Life transitions – New job, empty nest, divorce, retirement, etc.
Milestone birthdays - Especially if it ends in a '0'; i.e. 30, 40, 50, 60, etc.
After loss - A death, breakup, or major change can prompt reflection.
New beginnings – Moving house, starting therapy, launching a business.
Finally, you can write one when you simply feel stuck. Lost. Uncertain. Writing a living eulogy can help you find your footing again.
How to Write Your Living Eulogy
If the idea feels overwhelming, don’t worry - none of this is about perfection. It’s about self-exploration.
You don’t have to be a professional writer like me to write a powerful living eulogy. You just need honesty, reflection and the willingness to be kind to yourself.
Here’s a simple framework based on my own workflow you can use to begin:
Step 1 - Set the Scene
Choose a quiet moment, free from distractions. Pour a cup of tea or coffee. Light a candle if that's your thing. This is your ceremony, not a checklist.
Ask yourself this question. If someone who loved me deeply were to describe me at this point in my life, what would they say?
Then start writing.
You can write in the third person (“She was someone who…”) or first person (“I am someone who…”). You can address it to yourself, your future self or even imagine an old friend giving a toast in your honour.
Step 2 - Reflect on Your Past Self
Start by journaling about key moments that shaped you:
Major turning points (career changes, relationships, losses, triumphs, etc.)
Lessons learned (what did hardship teach you?)
People who influenced you (who helped you grow? Parents? Friends? Mentors? Teachers? Managers?)
If you're unsure or finding it hard, I'd opt for writing from a third-person perspective, as if you were a narrator observing your life. This creates emotional distance, making it easier to reflect honestly.
Step 3 - Reflect on the Key Chapters
Think of your life in chapters. Childhood. Early adulthood. Moments of struggle. Turning points. Unexpected joys.
Consider the following prompts:
What challenges have you overcome?
What moments defined your values?
When were you most proud of yourself?
Who did you become when no one was watching?
This isn’t meant to be a CV. You’re not listing achievements. You’re capturing meaning.
Step 4 - Acknowledge Your Present Self
Now, consider:
Who are you today?
What are your strengths?
What habits or beliefs hold you back?
Be kind but be truthful. The goal isn’t self-judgment, it’s self-awareness.
Step 5 - Celebrate the Imperfect You
A living eulogy isn’t about airbrushing your life. It’s about embracing your whole self, flaws and all.
Celebrate the missteps, the awkward detours, the goals you’re still working on. Instead of shame, offer understanding. Instead of judgement, offer grace.
Write about your quirks. Your inside jokes. Your stubborn hope. The way you always dance when you’re cooking pasta. The way you keep trying, even when you’re scared.
This is what makes your story yours.
Step 6 - Include Your Aspirations
Remember a living eulogy is a bridge between who you’ve been and who you’re becoming. So write into the future.
Speak of the life you’re creating as though it’s already unfolding. Things like:
“She finally wrote that book.”
“He forgave himself for not knowing better.”
“They began to love mornings again.”
This forward-facing language helps align your present actions with future desires. It turns hope into intention.
Step 5 - Envision Your Future Self
Building on from that, now imagine your ideal legacy. Ask:
How do I want to be remembered?
What impact do I want to have?
What changes do I need to make now to align with that vision?
This isn’t about unrealistic expectations, it’s about intentional living.
Step 8 - Write Your Living Eulogy
With all that in mind, now craft a 1-2 page tribute to yourself. Structure it like a traditional eulogy but in the present or future tense. For example:
"[Your Name] lived a life defined by curiosity and kindness. They weren’t afraid to fail, because every setback taught them something new. They loved deeply, laughed often and left every place better than they found it..."
Keep it authentic. Remember, this is for you, not an audience.
What My Clients Say About Living Eulogies
All kinds of people come to me and ask about living eulogies. Some come to me after a crisis. Others after a birthday, often one ending in zero! Some just want to pause and check in.
Regardless of the reason, after we've spoke about it, their response is often the same “I didn’t realise how far I’d come.”
That sentence gives me chills every time. Because in our constant striving for “what’s next”, we rarely acknowledge how much we’ve already grown. A living eulogy makes that visible.
It’s not about ego - it’s about honouring your humanity.
How a Professional Eulogy Writer Can Help
While writing a living eulogy is deeply personal, some find it challenging to confront their own story objectively. I can understand that.
As a eulogy writer, I’ve helped clients craft living eulogies for a number of reason, including as a way to:
Gain clarity on their life’s direction.
Heal past wounds through reframing.
Create a roadmap for meaningful change.
A well-written living eulogy isn’t just a single document - it’s both a mirror and a compass. It shows you where you’ve been and points you toward where you want to go.
The PostScript: The Power of Life Reflection
When people hire me to write a eulogy for a loved one, they often say the same thing "I wish they could have heard this while they were still alive."
Imagine what it would be like if you could hear yours now. Imagine the comfort, the perspective, the renewed sense of meaning.
A living eulogy isn’t a goodbye. It’s a beginning. A love letter to yourself from someone who knows the whole story and still believes the best is yet to come.
All too often we wait for major life events, i.e. birthdays, crises, or losses, to reevaluate our paths. But why wait?
A living eulogy is a chance to honour your journey while actively shaping what comes next.
By revisiting your past self with compassion and envisioning your future with intention, you create a life that feels purposeful and authentic.
So go ahead. Revisit your past self. Not to mourn who you were, but to celebrate how far you’ve come and to honour the life you’re still growing into.
So, I invite you to try it. Work with me to write your living eulogy. See what surprises you. And then, live in a way that makes every word true. I look forward to hearing from you soon.
Thanks for taking the time to read my blog. Have you thought about your own eulogy? Have you got one already and if so, what made you take that step? Let me know in the comments below.
Interested in exploring a living eulogy for yourself or someone you love? While I offer these professionally, you don’t need me to start. You just need your story and the courage to sit with it. But if you’d like help shaping it, you know where to find me. Your future self is already applauding.
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