The Difference Between a Eulogy and an Obituary
- Gary Michaels
- 2 days ago
- 6 min read
When someone passes away, two common terms often surface in the flurry of funeral planning and public remembrance: eulogy and obituary.
These words are sometimes used interchangeably, which can lead to confusion, especially at a time when clarity is sorely needed.
While both serve the essential purpose of honouring a life lived, they are, in fact, very different tools in the mourning process and have distinct purposes, formats and audiences.
The Key Differences Between a Eulogy and an Obituary: A Guide
Losing a loved one is without question an emotional experience and during this difficult time, families often need to communicate their loss to friends, relatives and the wider community.
Whether you're tasked with writing one or simply trying to understand what to expect, I've come up with this guide which aims to walk you through the key distinctions between a eulogy and an obituary, from their tone and purpose to their structure and audience.
Let’s break it down.
What Is a Eulogy?
In simple terms, a eulogy is a spoken tribute, usually delivered at a funeral, memorial service or celebration of life. It’s typically written and presented by someone who had a close relationship with the deceased be that a family member, friend, or sometimes a colleague or celebrant.
The word eulogy stems from the Greek eulogia, meaning “praise” or “good words” and that’s exactly what it is; a heartfelt narrative that reflects on who the person was, how they lived, what they loved and the legacy they leave behind.
Think of it as storytelling with purpose.
The goal isn’t to list achievements, but to capture the spirit of the individual. Eulogies often include personal anecdotes, quirks, humour and emotional reflections about their life.
Key Features of a Eulogy
Spoken aloud at a funeral or memorial service.
Personal and emotional in tone.
Focuses on anecdotes, memories and qualities of the deceased.
Usually delivered by a close family member, friend or religious leader.
Length varies but typically 3-10 minutes when spoken.
An example of a eulogy might look like this:
“Granddad didn’t believe in microwaves or mobile phones, but he believed in morning walks, butter on toast and the power of a well-timed pun. He taught me how to fish - badly - but more importantly, how to be patient, kind and curious about the world.”
What Is An Obituary?
An obituary, by contrast, is a formal public notice of a person’s death. It appears in newspapers, online tribute pages or funeral home websites and is typically written by a family member or the funeral director.
Obituaries tend to follow a conventional structure: announcement of death, basic biographical details (birth date, marriage, children), career information and details about date, time and location of the funeral or memorial service.
While they may contain a line or two of reflection or a favourite quote, but they tend to lean more toward the factual than the personal.
Here in the UK where I'm based, it’s common for local newspapers or national outlets like The Times or The Guardian to publish obituaries - sometimes editorial ones for notable public figures, but more often paid-for announcements submitted by families.
Key Features of an Obituary
Published in print or online (e.g., local newspapers, funeral notices).
Formal and factual in tone.
Includes key life events, career, family details and funeral information.
Often written by family members or funeral directors.
Usually much shorter (50-200 words) unless it's for a public figure.
An example of an obituary might look like this:
“Jane Anne Doe passed away peacefully on 3rd May 2025 at the age of 89. Beloved wife of the late John, cherished mother to Simon and Fiona and devoted grandmother to four grandchildren. A service will be held at St Mary’s Church, Tunbridge Wells, on 12th May at 11am.”
Key Differences at a Glance
To make it even clearer, I've put together a handy comparison table:
FEATURE | EULOGY | OBITUARY |
Purpose | To honour and reflect on the life of the deceased | To announce the death and provide funeral details |
Format | Spoken (or sometimes read aloud from a written script) | Written and published (newspapers, websites) |
Tone | Personal, emotional, reflective, sometimes humorous | Formal, factual, respectful |
Audience | Attendees at the funeral or memorial service | General public, friends, and wider community |
Length | Typically 5–10 minutes long | Usually a few sentences (50 - 200 words) |
Content | Stories, character traits, personal memories | Date of death, age, family members, funeral information |
Author | Close friend or family member | Family, funeral director, or occasionally a journalist |
Where It's Shared | Delivered at the ceremony | Published in print or online |
Why the Distinction Matters
Understanding the difference between a eulogy and an obituary is more than just semantics, it’s about knowing the role each plays in the grieving process.
An obituary informs. It serves as a record of the death and invites people to participate in mourning, whether by attending the service or offering condolences.
A eulogy, on the other hand, helps those present at the funeral to feel connected, understood and moved. It weaves the threads of a person’s life into something meaningful and memorable.
When these lines blur, problems can arise.
A poorly written eulogy that reads like a CV or obituary may feel cold or impersonal. Likewise, an obituary that tries to be too emotional might omit important logistical information that people need.
Can One Person Write Both?
Absolutely. In many cases, the same person writes both the obituary and the eulogy - particularly in smaller families or when there’s a close, capable writer in the mix.
However, the two pieces should still be written differently, with their unique audiences and tones in mind.
Here’s how to approach it:
For the obituary, stick to key facts and clarity. Include the full name, age, date of death, names of close relatives and funeral details. If there’s space or a desire, a short tribute line can be added: “A kind soul who touched many lives.”
For the eulogy, speak from the heart. Think about the memories that define the person, their unique traits, favourite sayings and the lessons they taught. Structure it like a story, with a beginning, middle, and end, and practice reading it aloud beforehand.
Common Misconceptions
1. "I have to be a good public speaker to give a eulogy."
Not true. What matters most is sincerity. You can write it down and read it. Many people cry during a eulogy - and that’s OK.
2. "Obituaries are only for famous people."
Not anymore. Most local UK newspapers accept paid announcements from any family. It’s a meaningful way to inform the wider community.
3. "I can’t include humour in a eulogy."
On the contrary, humour often helps. A well-placed laugh through tears can be healing. Just ensure it’s tasteful and reflects the personality of the deceased.
Incidentally, I've wrote a blog on how to incorporate humour into a eulogy which you can read by clicking here.
Writing Help Is Available
If the idea of writing either a eulogy or an obituary feels overwhelming, you’re not alone.
Many people struggle to find the right words at a time of emotional exhaustion.
Professional eulogy writers (I am one so yes, that’s a real thing!) offer support in crafting tributes that are both authentic and articulate.
Funeral directors can also often help with obituary submissions.
Even asking a friend to review what you’ve written can help. Remember, perfection isn’t the goal, connection is.
If you would like me to help you with either an obituary or eulogy, my contact details are linked at the bottom of this blog.
The PostScript
In life, as in death, the words we use matter.
A eulogy is your chance to say goodbye in a way that feels real and personal. An obituary ensures that goodbye is heard by the world beyond the room.
Both are acts of love. Both are needed.
If you’re preparing for a funeral in the UK, consider both; announce the passing with an obituary and celebrate their life with a heartfelt eulogy. I'd be honoured to help with that if needed.
Whether you’re telling the story aloud or writing it down in black and white, you are honouring someone’s legacy and that is a very powerful thing.
Thanks for taking the time to read my post, I hope it's helped clear up any confusion you may have had.
If you need any help writing either an obituary or a eulogy, then I'd be honoured to help. Please get in touch with me and let's have a conversation about how I can make it easier for you.
I can write an obituary, a bespoke eulogy from scratch or, if you just need a professional edit on one you've already written, I'd be delighted to assist you.