How to Write a Eulogy Quickly
- Gary Michaels
- Mar 24
- 9 min read
I think we can all agree that losing a loved one is one of the most emotionally challenging experiences we face as we navigate this journey we call 'life'.
In midst the grief and logistical arrangements around the funeral, you may find yourself tasked with writing a eulogy; a speech that's designed to honour the life and legacy of the deceased but the problem is... you don't have long to do it!
One of, if not THE most common question I get asked as a professional eulogy writer is "can I write a eulogy quickly?" (or words to that effect). I get asked it so often it's included within this website's FAQ.
You'll be glad to know that the answer is almost always "Yes", but the reasons why you might need a eulogy when time is short isn't always that simple, especially if you're writing it yourself.
The thing is, writing a eulogy is never easy. It’s an emotional task that asks you to reflect on the life of a loved one while grappling with your own feelings of grief and loss. But when you’re under time pressure; whether due to a quickly approaching funeral, you may have been let down by another eulogy writer (happens more than you think!), or simply a lack of time to sit and reflect with everything else you're dealing with, it can feel almost impossible.
What You Need To Write a Eulogy Quickly
So how do you craft a heartfelt, meaningful tribute when the clock is ticking?
The good news is that even with limited time, I can show you how to write a beautiful and sincere eulogy just by focusing on the essentials and following my clear structure.
In this blog, I’ll explore this including practical hints, tips and techniques to help you craft a eulogy that truly honours your loved one, even when time is not on your side.
1. Start with a Clear Structure
When time is limited, having a clear structure can save you from feeling overwhelmed.
A well-organised eulogy typically includes the following elements:
Start Simple: Don’t Overthink the Opening
The hardest part of writing any eulogy is often getting started. Start simply by briefly introduce yourself and your relationship to the deceased.
Acknowledge the audience and express gratitude for their presence.
When you’re under time pressure, don’t waste precious minutes trying to craft the perfect introduction. Instead, begin with something straightforward and honest. This could be
"I’m honoured to stand here today to remember [Their Name]."
"It’s difficult to find the right words to sum up a life as rich and full as [Their Name]’s, but I’ll do my best to share some of my favourite memories."
It could also be a more traditional opening such as "We’re gathered here today to celebrate the life of [Their Name], who meant so much to all of us."
These openings are simple yet sincere. They give you a solid starting point and allow you to transition smoothly into the body of the speech without getting stuck in your own head.
Personal Stories and Memories
Share anecdotes that highlight the deceased’s personality, their values and their impact on others.
Highlight traits like their kindness, humour, resilience or generosity.
Keep stories concise and meaningful; focus on moments that reflect their personality.
Key Life Achievements
Where possible share 2–3 key memories or qualities that defined the person.
This might not seem like many but when time is limited, you can’t cover every aspect of a person’s life and you don’t need to.
Instead of trying to write a full biography, focus on a few key aspects that capture the essence of the person:
A defining personality trait – Were they known for their kindness, humour, generosity or strength?
A special memory – Include a single story that encapsulates their character or how they made others feel. If you have family, try and come up with something that you can all relate to (e.g. family holiday or special celebration, etc.)
A lasting legacy – What did they leave behind, whether it’s their family, wisdom, or the impact they had on their community or others?
If you can't think of many, you could include significant milestones, accomplishments or passions that defined their life.
Closing Thoughts
End with a heartfelt message or a favourite quote. This could be from their favourite song, poem, film, book, etc.
Offer a final reflection or farewell message.
Thank the audience for coming together to remember the person.
End with a simple goodbye or an uplifting sentiment (e.g., "We’ll carry their memory with us always").
Having this framework in place means you won’t have to figure out the flow of the speech from scratch because it’s already mapped out for you.
By breaking the eulogy into these sections, you can focus on one part at a time, making the process more manageable.
2. Gather Information Quickly
When time is of the essence, efficiency is key to making the most of the time you do have. Here’s my advice on how to gather the information you need without wasting those precious minutes:
Talk to Family and Friends
Reach out to close family members or friends who knew the deceased well.
Ask them to share their favourite memories, stories or qualities they admired. This not only provides material for the eulogy but also ensures a well-rounded tribute.
Review Photos and Mementos
Looking through old photos, letters or souvenirs can spark memories and help you recall meaningful moments.
Consider Social Media
If the deceased had an online presence, their social media profiles may offer insights into their interests, values and relationships.
Make a List of Key Points
Jot down the most important aspects of their life, such as their career, hobbies, family role and personality traits.
3. Focus on the Essence of the Person
A eulogy doesn’t need to be a comprehensive biography, nor should it be one. Instead, aim to capture the essence of who your loved one was.
Think about:
Their Personality
Were they kind, funny, adventurous, or wise? Highlight these traits through stories or examples.
Their Impact
How did they touch the lives of others? Share specific instances where they made a difference in your or those closest to you.
Their Passions
What did they love? Whether it was a hobby, a cause, or their family, these passions can form the heart of your tribute.
By focusing on what made them unique, you can create a eulogy that feels personal and authentic.
4. Keep It Simple and Sincere
When you're under time pressure, it’s easy to overthink or strive for perfection. At these times it's important to remember that a eulogy doesn’t need to be elaborate or poetic to be impactful. What matters most is that it comes from the heart.
If you are short on time, aim for around 3–5 minutes (which is around 500–700 words). This is long enough to be meaningful without overloading yourself or the audience. A good rule of thumb is:
Opening – 1 minute
Stories and reflections – 3 minutes
Closing – 1 minute
These can obviously be expanded to suit the time you have available. For example, if you have ten minutes, then double them all. Regardless of timings, the middle section should take up the majority of the time you have.
If you find yourself writing too much, just ask yourself; does this add to the overall message? If not, cut it out.
Keeping it concise helps you stay focused and makes it easier to deliver without losing track.
Here’s how I would do that::
Use Plain Language
Write as you would speak.
Avoid overly formal or complex language that might feel unnatural.
If you normally tell stories with humour, let that come through.
If you’re more serious or reflective, keep that tone.
Don’t worry about using flowery language; keep it simple and sincere.
Be Honest
It’s OK to acknowledge imperfections or challenges. A eulogy that reflects the full humanity of the deceased can be deeply moving.
Avoid Overloading with Details
Stick to a few key stories or points rather than trying to cover everything they've ever done.
5. Use a Template or Outline
If you’re struggling to get started, using a eulogy template can provide a helpful framework.
Here’s a basic outline you can adapt:
Introduction:
“Good morning/afternoon, everyone. My name is [Your Name], and I am [Your Relationship to the Deceased]. Thank you all for being here today to honour [Deceased’s Name].”
Acknowledge the difficulty of the occasion and express gratitude for the support of those present.
Personal Stories and Memories:
Share 1-2 anecdotes that illustrate their character, values or impact.
Example: “One of my favorite memories of [Deceased’s Name] is the time we [specific memory]. It perfectly captures their [quality / sense of humour / generosity, etc.].”
Key Life Achievements:
Highlight their career, hobbies, or contributions they made to their community, i.e. “[Deceased’s Name] was passionate about [interest or cause] and their dedication inspired so many of us.”
Closing Thoughts:
End with a heartfelt message or a favourite quote.
Something like: “As we say goodbye to [Deceased’s Name], let us remember the love and joy they brought into our lives. They may be gone, but their spirit will live on in all of us.”
6. Write from the Heart
When time is short, it’s tempting to rely on clichés or generic phrases. However, the most memorable eulogies are those that feel personal and genuine, not full of basic platitudes.
Here’s a few ways to infuse your writing with emotion:
Speak Honestly
Share your true feelings, whether it’s sadness, gratitude or even humour. Authenticity always resonates with listeners.
Include Specific Details
Instead of just saying “They were kind" describe a specific act of kindness that touched you or others that exemplifies it. Similarly with any other quality, don't just say, show they demonstrated it.
Use Their Voice
If possible, incorporate phrases or sayings that were unique to the deceased. This can make the eulogy feel much more personal.
7. Practice and Edit Efficiently
Even under time pressure, it’s important to practice and refine your eulogy.
Here’s my tips on how to do it quickly:
Read Aloud
Practice delivering the eulogy to ensure it flows naturally and fits within the allotted time (most eulogies last between 5-10 minutes).
Edit for Clarity
Remove any unnecessary details or repetitive points. Focus on making each sentence meaningful.
Seek Feedback
If possible, ask a trusted friend or family member to review your eulogy and provide feedback.
8. Embrace Imperfection
Writing a eulogy under time pressure means you may not have the luxury of endless revisions, and that’s OK.
Remember, the purpose of a eulogy is to honour your loved one, not to deliver a flawless speech. Your audience will appreciate the effort and sincerity behind your words, even if they aren’t perfectly polished.
9. Take Care of Yourself
There's no doubt that writing a eulogy while grieving and under time constraints can be emotionally draining.
Please do not underestimate the following self-care tips to help you through the process:
Set Aside Dedicated Time
Even if it’s just 30 minutes, carve out a quiet space to focus on your writing.
Stay Hydrated and Nourished
Grief can take a toll on your body, so remember to drink plenty of water and eat regularly.
Ask for Help
If you’re feeling overwhelmed, don’t hesitate to ask a friend or family member to assist with writing or research. If there's no one available, you can even reach out to me if you need any advice (no charge).
10. Deliver with Confidence
When the time comes to deliver the eulogy, remember that your audience is there to support you. No one is there to critique your performance or writing ability. Here are some of my best tips for a confident delivery:
Bring Notes
When time is tight, you may not have time to write out a full speech anyway. That’s fine too! Instead, create a bullet point outline with key phrases and prompts to keep you on track.
Speaking from bullet points rather than a script can make it easier to maintain eye contact with the audience and sound more natural. Plus, it’s quicker to prepare.
It’s OK to read from a script or use note / flash cards. This can help you stay on track and reduce anxiety.
Pause and Breathe
If you feel emotional, take a moment to pause and collect yourself. Your audience will understand.
Make Eye Contact
Look up occasionally just to connect with your listeners, but don’t feel pressured to memorise the entire speech and never look down at all.
The PostScript
Writing a eulogy under time pressure is undoubtedly challenging, but it’s also an opportunity to honour your loved one in a meaningful way.
By focusing on their essence, keeping your words sincere and relying on a clear structure, you can create a tribute that resonates with everyone present.
Remember, the most important thing is to speak from the heart. Your love and respect for the deceased will shine through, even if time constraints mean the words aren’t as perfect as you might like.
In the end, a eulogy is not just a speech, it’s a celebration of a life well-lived and a chance to say goodbye with grace and gratitude.
Take comfort in knowing that your efforts, no matter how rushed, will provide solace and connection during a difficult time for yourself, your family and friends. Take care.
Thanks for taking the time to read my post. If this is the situation in which you find yourself, I hope this helped you.
If you need a beautiful, bespoke eulogy and can't (or don't) have the time to write it yourself, then I'd be honoured to help. I can write them from scratch or, if you just need one you have given a professional polish, then I can do that too. Check our my services and I look forward to hearing from you soon.
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